I arrived at PoleKatz about 8:45...

I arrived at PoleKatz about 8:45 on a Saturday night. Mandatory $5.00 valet parking. Cover is $10.00, but I had a free pass from their website I had printed out ahead of time. You can also get the pass by text if you want. The nice thing about the pass is that it's valid for any size group.

Walked in and was cheerfully greeted by a floor manager, who asked if I was alone or waiting for others. He took me upstairs and seated me and said he'd send a waitress over. He said that this would be my table for the evening; if I went for dances, I could leave my drink and it would still be there when I came back. It was near the upstairs stage and had a commanding view of the large main stage on the floor below.

I ordered bottled water, which turned out to be Voss – "Artesian Water from Norway" – which cost $8.00. Wow. Good thing I had that free pass, otherwise I'd have been out $24.00 ($5 valet, $10 cover, $8 water plus a $1 tip) without yet seeing a single naked woman.