The New (but Not yet as good) Sirens
I have some really good Florida reviews I need to do, but this newly re-opened after years of closure, badly needs reviews- So I feel PL journalistic duty to get an update out here first!
Bottom line for the TL;DR (Too Lazy; Didn’t Read):
The club going for upscale, but it’s a little cheesy in the result. But only a couple months open so far and still panning their "grand opening" I'm holding out hope. Layout’s weird, talent’s underwhelming, and the upsell VIP sitting area is more “gas station buffet” than “special views” Bonus points for not patting you down like you’re entering a prison. But if you’re chasing actual mileage or model-tier dancers, for now- head to Vanity, five miles away. Columbus still doesn't have anything super great. Dayton has Cheeks- that's an hour but probably worth it.
Quick Facts:
> Free & plentiful parking
> No ID scan or TSA level bullshit
> Re-entry allowed, no fees
> Outdoor smoking patio accessible from the main floor
> Located in a safe area of Columbus- taverns and food trucks off same parking lot too.
> Draft beer! Including Craft choices. (rare in OH clubs) + Food menu
> 50+ TVs for guys who want to watch ESPN while ignoring live boobs
WARNING: Buying a dancer a drink? $25 dancer drinks- which are also required to be only 1/3 of a shot. WTF- Workaround: If dancer really wants it just for a drink and to loosen up with you, she can buy her own at regular price- so just hand her the cash- but it will still be 1/3 shot for all dancer drinks.
A quick catch-up History:
Before the pandemic, this place was the hottest ticket in town—I'm talking elite talent, OTC opportunities, and regulars rolling in from the wealthy burbs. I met three of my all-time favorites here. It shut down during pandemic and this big drama thing with Stormy Daniels who came as a feature and arrested by CPD for prostitution, not convicted of course- reopened recently with the same ownership, same DJs, and a million dollar remodeled space... and everyone hoping for the magic to return.
Spoiler: it didn’t. yet.
I've now made five visits—day and night shifts—hoping to catch a glimpse of its old glory. Instead, I got something between a Buffalo Wild Wings and a tattoo convention.
Layout & VIP Area:
They tried for upscale, but it lands somewhere between cheesy and “why is there a taco bar in my strip club?”
You walk in and choose left (VIP seating area) or right (general admission). VIP is only open weekends after 9PM, and costs $30 (vs $20 GA). VIP area gets you wrist band to go in and out, between this room and the main stage room. VIP has a buffet: tacos, hot dogs, cheap pizza, some ribs... think “7-Eleven hot bar with dreams.” Honestly, not worth the extra $10 unless you hungry enough for sad and not-that-fresh buffet food.
Crucial fail: You can’t see the main stage from VIP area! That’s like building a sports bar without TVs. It's intent was to be a seating area but no customers or girls stay there.
Layout includes a large square bar in the center, with poor stool placement and sightlines.
Main stage is decent size (10’x30’) with background light wall (also about 30x10), but can't do video level detail- just synchronized light bulb patterns- straight from 1986’s idea of the future,
I'd skip the VIP sitting area unless you’re into cold nachos and loneliness. No dancers or customers stay in there unless grabbing a pizza slice. It has it's own stage, chairs and tables- intention is to be an extra experience, but it's just a buffet room for real.
Admission & Drink Prices:
Before 9PM:
$7 General Admission / $12 Entry + Meal Token (gets you choice of: burger, chicken, or surprisingly a solid steak- which is essentially $5 right?)
After 9PM:
$20 General / $30 VIP (includes sad buffet and bright lighting)
Drinks Before 9PM:
$5 for any beer or cocktail, even craft beers and IPA's
After 9PM, prices return to regular $12 on avg drink prices.
Talent:
Here’s the real rub (or lack thereof):
If you’re into girls who look like they got lost on their way to a vape shop or SoundCloud rap shoot, congrats—you’re home. Tattoos? Check. Booty? Plenty. But if you're into the slim, stunning spinners like I am (Zendaya or Ariana Grande types), this place is 90% disappointment. My last night I saw one more girl that might have potential- but obviously she was in high demand like the last bottle of water on the beach.
Talent these days =
Chubby white girls, early 30s, with asses wider than your tailgate
Lots of Kim K builds—but none of her gym time, Slim pickings if your taste runs petite or fit.
Only 3 out of 50 dancers matched my type across five visits.
Dancers can come in any time without penalty- except if they arrive on time they get a free meal. That doesn't seem to be incentive for the spinner types- go figure. Some girls come in just hours before close.
Dance Experiences: (every hour they do the all girls on stage and then 2 for 1 dance thing).
Opal
Tiny, 5’2” and maybe 95 lbs. Super cute, but… her $40 room dance = air show in front of me.
No touching initially, no intimacy— she claimed camera & losing her job. She got better near end of second song then hit me up for the $200 VIP 15 min room.
Verdict: 6/10 – great potential, but no delivery.
Aria
A 32-year-old with a slim frame and long black hair but not straightened- kind of frizzy- It would be hotter straightened. More hands-on, good movements. Passed the test to try a VIP dance room. Did a 15-min room for $150 (Got down from $200 with the Room Host when I was hmm-so you can negotiate! This was day shift though) She was all over me and good with her long leg in my crotch. Breathing on my neck- crawled on the couch- Her thong accidentally came off for a minute- I don't think it was accident on purpose- but truly accident- lol- I didn't point it out and took her a minute to figure it out? I tried to get her into some stick shifting- but that was again- lose my job claim...
This room is super nice. You climb stairs to a special room- like 15x20 I'd say- with a wrap around very nice black leather couch that takes up both walls. TV's all across the top - but why? I was told some ballers like to go up there for many many hours and chill and spend thousands. Hmmm- I think that's what they HOPE for! but perhaps. You can bring your own playlist and bluetooth to their speaker system in that room- that's cool- I will try that next time if I can just find a girl that make that room fun.
It doesn't have mirrors though. Damn- all that upgrade and no mirrors?? wtf.
When the time was up- host came up and just stood there watching us until we followed him down. Other clubs they let you wrap it up after the announcement, and let you have that last couple minutes- you know- to exchange numbers or adjust yourself- bro- come on.
Verdict: 8/10 – not Florida-level mileage, but solid for this club.
Final Thought: Aria was the only dancer worth repeating. But still— Vanity has hotter girls, better mileage, but zero buffet hot dogs.
Promotions: unique to them in Cbus, so worth a mention...
Frequent raffles: Mountain bikes, golf gear, etc.
Must be present at 1AM to claim prizes (because of course).
Just hit their Instagram or Facebook to see when the next “win a golf set while watching twerking” event is.
Final Verdict:
This club used to be Columbus royalty. Today, it’s kind of feel like in a mall store- with poles. Very modern- not really cozy. Turn down the fucking lights a little at least.
There’s effort—sure—but the talent, layout, and vibe just don’t deliver yet. It might improve over time, likely even- but for now:
I say - Go to Vanity. or try this, report out, and know this other club not far as a backup.
