Hard Core Dive
Commotions is in LaGrange about halfway between Atlanta and Columbus, off the I-85/185 spur, but it’s on the other side of town, a good 15 or 20 minute drive off the highway. This is definitely rural Georgia. Have you ever seen the movie Deliverance?
The parking lot looks like a moonscape, except the moon doesn’t have grass growing on it, like this parking lot does. When I arrived about 8:30 PM there were maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot, mostly older model pickup trucks. There were a couple of guys hanging around outside by one of the cars, with drinks sitting on the hood of the car. They looked like . . . well, again, have you seen the movie Deliverance?
The building looks rundown. There was a counter just inside the door, but no one behind it. I waited for a minute or two, looked around, didn’t see anyone that looked like a doorman, and went on in. About 20 feet in, I was stopped by a big, husky dude who got up from the bar asked for a $5 dollar cover.
The club is basically a big rectangle. The entrance is near the left end of the long side of the rectangle. There are two pool tables immediately to the left after you enter, to the right of the entrance a large square bar, then further to the right a seating area and a large square stage, with additional seating along the walls. Everything is low end and rundown looking.
There were about a dozen guys in the club, most seated at the bar, but a few at tables or along the wall. Most looked like they were likely truck drivers or mechanics, or something of that nature, all white and redneck looking except for one older, looking, black guy. I took a seat at the bar, but was ignored by the female bartender. Eventually, the big door guy went behind the bar and asked me what I wanted.
I asked for a Budweiser, which was listed as being available for $4.50. He looked in the refrigerator and said they didn’t have any, so I got a Corona for $6. When he bent over to get the beer out of the refrigerator, the back of his shirt pulled up, and I could see an automatic pistol, probably a 9 mm, tucked into the small of his back. Google the news on this club and you’ll know why.
After I got my beer, I relaxed and surveyed the scene. I counted eight dancers working, five white and three AA. One of the white dancers was a skinny, thirtyish, crackhead looking blonde that was sitting on the bar when I walked in. Yes, on the bar, not at the bar.
Three of the four white dancers looked like middle-aged Mrs. Potato Heads with stretch marks. The other was a somewhat attractive, tattooed, thirtyish, brunette, that I might rate a 6.
There was a skinny black girl, a big boned, black girl, and then another definitely attractive, medium build, young black girl, who was the best of the bunch. I never got a close enough look to say for sure, but I would probably rate her a seven.
There was no one dancing on stage when I got there. Eventually, the DJ started a stage rotation. Thankfully, the Mrs. Potato Heads never took off their extra-large size bikinis. However, the tattooed brunette and the good looking black girl did. They both got completely nude on stage, and the black girl put on a pretty good show, laying on her back on the floor and spreading her legs.
There was a couple there, a skinny looking guy with an obese date/spouse, who got some dances from the tattooed brunette girl. She got nude table side for them, and did a little grinding, but I never saw any touching. I also saw the black girl dance for a couple of Hispanic guys in the chairs along the wall. She also did a little bit of grinding, but I didn’t see any two way touching.
I never talked to any of the girls, which was fine by me, so I never got a dance pitch. There was a sign over the DJ booth that said dances were $20. There was no mention of VIP dances, and I didn’t see any place where VIP dances could take place.
Interestingly, just before I left, about a half dozen Asian looking dudes came in, ranging in age from twentyish to 50s. I think I heard them talking Korean. They were probably from the Kia plant a few miles down the road in West Point, Georgia.
I stayed for about an hour, and the total damage was $19: two Coronas at $6 plus $1 tip for each, and the $5 cover. This club was an interesting sight to see, but I am certain I will never return. This is a hard-core redneck dive bar. If you want to see one, stop by. Otherwise, keep driving.
