I get to Philly once a...

I get to Philly once a year and had to see what the Ballpark Tavern was all about, since I had never been. Visited on a Friday night from about 8:15-9:15. Free parking. No cover; $5.00 for bottled water at the bar, which is where you have to sit if you want to see the dancers. The stage is on the other side of the bar, but it's so far away that guys throwing crumpled-up dollar bills were rarely able to hurl them far enough to reach the stage. The post-dance tip parade is done with the dancer right across the bar's countertop from you, and you have to reach *way* over to get your tip between their boobs. After that first parade, most of the dancers came around to talk a little more personally to the patrons at the bar, show their boobs and kitties (for additional tips, of course), and solicit private dances.

There weren't many dancers when I got there, and the few I saw early on – kind of old and/or fugly – made me wonder if I'd even stay. However, things picked up in terms of numbers and looks. There were six dancer names listed on the call board near one of the two "dressing rooms" (more like closets with mirrors), and I think there might have been one or two more girls than that by the time I left. I met most of them during the tip parade.

Couch dances are $20 in a separate room that is not all that private (at least the one I saw, if there even is more than one), since anyone walking by could see partway in, and the guy who you pay sits outside the room and can hear (if not see) everything. However, that doesn't matter (unless you're super-shy). Right away, I was offered a CBJ for $80. What I didn't realize is that for that, you only get one song. If it takes longer, it's $20 more for every additional song. I had picked the one girl I thought was the prettiest, but of course, that doesn't guarantee excellence in oral skills. She was so-so.