A crazy and funny experience--Went to...

A crazy and funny experience--Went to this strip club for my birthday party. All the guys I was with told the hottest stripper why we were there and they ponied up some cash for a lap dance (is that two words?). While she was giving me the lap dance she took 2 matches from off the table next to me and stuck them in her nipples. As you can imagine I am staring at her nipples (for science) and trying to figure out how they are staying in there. Well as I am deep in my analysis, she lights them and tells me to blow them out. My brain, being taxed by the "How the fuck are they staying in there" quandary, does not compute her direction. She follows this up with a somewhat louder, more emphatic "Blow the fucking matches out!!" because I assume, they are getting a tad warm. Still no response from me. Finally she grabs my head and yells "BLOW THEM OUT!!!". This wakes me from my trance and I blow them out just in time. As you can imagine my buddies are almost on the floor they are laughing so hard. Oddly, the stripper was not.

Follow Up: We shared the story with the bridesmaids before the wedding the next day. Then during the ceremony, as the Groomsmen walked down the aisle to greet them, they handed them each a book of matches and whispered, "Your turn".