I hit up The Clubhouse around...

I hit up The Clubhouse around 10pm on a Saturday evening. The club is nestled in amongst a bunch of warehouses and industrial buildings. Driving in, you are funneled towards the valet. I asked if I could park my car myself and they let me, but I still had to pay the $10 fee that I would have paid if I had opted to for valet. The cover charge for the club was $20, but The Clubhouse is BYOB. There are a couple waitresses, but there is no hard push for you to buy ice or mixers from the club. In fact, a lot of patrons came in with coolers and their own mixers. If you are a heavy drinker, this model works in your favor and keeps cash in your pocket to spend on the dancers.

The club is owned by Vinnie Paul Abbott, the drummer for Hellyeah (and formerly Pantera, Damageplan). Thus, the club has a rock atmosphere to it. The walls are covered with rock memorabilia like Vinnie’s cymbals, Dimebag’s guitars, and gold records. All of the music is rock and metal with the exception of an occasional edm track. There is absolutely no hip hop, which was quite refreshing. The disc jockey had the 1980’s way-too-much-hairspray look going on. The club’s main features are two large stages. The main stage has two poles and is large enough to put a band on it. The auxiliary stage is closer to the entrance and has two poles with the bar in the middle; it looks like a pirate ship with crow’s nests on the poles and ladders leading up to them. While I was there, there were always four or five dancers entertaining at any given time. This is a nude club, but most of the dancers only take off their tops on stages. I imagine if you tipped well and asked, they would drop their thongs.

Most of the dancers at this club looked like the kind of women you’d see at a rock concert. That is the Clubhouse’s niche. Some were goth, and some were more normal looking. Some had dreadlocks, and some had undercuts. Some had too many tattoos, and some had too many piercings. Frankenstein girls seem strangely sexy. Topless lap dances are $20 and done on the chairs you sit in on the first floor. Nude lap dances are $30 and done on couches upstairs. However, the use of couches upstairs also incurs a $5 per dance fee to the house. So really, you are paying $35 for a nude lap dance. The chairs downstairs have arms, so the advantage of getting a couch upstairs is that you can spread your legs nice and wide to receive the grind or the dancer can straddle you better.