I went to Fantasy Ranch around...

I went to Fantasy Ranch around 9pm on a Thursday evening. The club is located at the dead end of a spur road that branches off South Pipeline Road. The road in is a little bumpy with potholes. The building containing Fantasy Ranch is shared with a swinger’s club called Lucky’s Playhouse. The strip club is on the right side of the building when looking north from the parking lot. The cover charge was $10 paid at a desk in the vestibule. When I got into the actual club, it was dead. There was music playing, no dancers on stage, and only three customers. I went over to the bar to grab a drink. The fat white bartender was glued to her smartphone and did not notice me. I waited fifteen minutes not being served, then walked over and told her I wanted a beer. A domestic bottle was $5.75. Every thirty minutes or so there would be a $3 shot special announced over the speaker system. You can get Patron, Hennessy, and Crown for $3. By the time I left around 10:30pm, the club had seen about a total of eight patrons. With the exception of two Mexican guys that were at the bar, all of the patrons were African-American.

There were only four dancers on the night shift: two white, two black. Only one dancer approached me the whole ninety minutes or so I was there. She was a white dancer who was 23 but looked 33+. She was acting kind of weird and shaking; I think she might have been on drugs. The other white dancer looked pretty good from a distance but hanged out with a table of black guys the whole time. Other than a couple of dollars from a stage tip, she wasn’t making any money. The two black dancers were decent looking, but seemed to spend most of their time looking at their smartphones or hiding out in the locker room after their stage sets. Lap dances take place on worn couches and chairs in a jail cell for $20 each. The VIP room (aka The Board Room) is $40 to the club and a negotiated tip to the dancer. Dancers would go on stage one at a time to dance for a couple of songs; then, the stage would be vacant for a couple of songs.

Maybe I came on an off night, but Fantasy Ranch was not worth the $10 cover and overpriced beers. Most of the dancers seemed disinterested in making money.