It's always sort of unnerving when...

It's always sort of unnerving when you're the sole customer at a strip club. As I entered Rick's on a random Saturday afternoon, I was hit with something rare to a club: silence. No music, no DJ banter, nothing. Of course, as they realized I was at the velvet rope, the club slowly whirred to life as if the party had never stopped. The DJ rushed to get a song going and called out a dancer name - she, startled to hear her name, hurried up to the stage on impossible platform heels and began her routine as if she was still trying to wake up.

Not the most auspicious start to this visit to Rick's, a club that I used to frequent back in the, as the kids say, day. Taking selective memory into account, the old Rick's seemed to always be a hotbed of activity - some good, some bad, some awesome. I don't go very often now, but when I do, disappointment seems to be waiting for me. This visit was no exception. Once the wheels got turning, the waitress took my drink order - and never returned. A pack (pride? gaggle?) of dancers sat in one big booth, lost in their phones. Eventually, a blonde came up, asked me if I had been there before, how the weather was, how my day was going, and would I like a dance? I passed. After a time, a second dancer - blonde - came up, asked me if I had been there before, how the weather was, how my day was going, and would I like a dance. Insert your 'Deja Vu' joke here. For a moment I truly thought it was the same dancer. I passed again.

I would like to give a shout out to the dancer onstage during this time - beautiful, stacked, and while she moved slow she moved with purpose. I would like to give her a shout out, but the DJ forgot to back-announce her, and she disappeared (probably to continue her conversation with the missing waitress.) And...that was it. I went to the bathroom, and then slipped out the door unnoticed.