Saturday night I made my first...

Saturday night I made my first visit back to Fantasies in a couple of years. What a mistake! This joint should be called Club Nightmare instead of Club Fantasies. All the ladies were nasty looking and the place had a dead vibe with few patrons, depressed looking staff and ugly strippers with shitty attitudes. It’s sad because back in the day this was the best club in Providence rivaled only by the Foxy Lady. If you go to this club here’s some basics. Fantasies is located in a sketchy deserted industrial area about a mile down the road from Providence Place Mall. The parking lot is very tight with narrow spaces and isles that make it very difficult to get in/out. There’s also no parking signs on the street out front. The entrance is on the side of the building opposite the road. There’s an outdoor grill near the front door. As you enter you pay a $10 cover at night and go through a metal detector. The club is large- spread over two floors. After you enter there’s a bar directly in front of you. A can of beer was $5 (no bottles) Then a very long low rectangular stage extends off to your right. On one side of the stage there’s seats on the same level as the stage where you almost sit right on the stage. All the seats at the stage were empty for most of my visit. But then again the downstairs was basically empty (less than a dozen patrons) All the ladies got topless on stage but none got nude or showed any pussy downstairs. The number of ladies on stage varied- sometimes 2, sometimes one, for a bit none. The restrooms are to the right of the stage. Then there’s another bar in the back of the club. To the right of this bar is a pool table and the door out to the small bare-bones outdoor smoking area. In the back corner are two champagne rooms that were once enclosed but unfortunately they completely removed the doors and they’re now wide open with no privacy whatsoever:( Lap dances are done in open restaurant-style booths facing each other that are along the back wall behind the stage. There’s no privacy since even patrons at the stage can see you getting a lap dance. The lap dances now cost $30 each and it looked like most ladies only got topless. When I asked about nude dances I was quoted anywhere from $40 to as high as an absurd $60 each! If you want to see more you can go upstairs to the “Fantasy Island” which is billed as the all nude stage, although only half the ladies actually dropped their panties. Access is from a stairwell back over by the entrance and to left past the bar (by where the cops sit) As you enter Fantasy Island upstairs a bouncer shakes you down for an additional $10 cover and then stamps your hand. The layout upstairs almost mirrors downstairs except that the stage is smaller and there’s rows of large leather lounge chairs facing the stage. The upstairs was considerably busier. But it still was only about a quarter full on a Saturday night (maybe 30 or so patrons) There’s small individual enclosed champagne rooms upstairs. They look and feel like changing room stalls at a department store and are lined-up along the far end walls. As other reviewers have noted, they cut huge windows out of the top quarter of the doors and put round security mirrors (like at a convenience store) in the top corner of each CR. The CR’s here were decent in the past. But with the changes they don’t look very appealing anymore. On this visit there were about a dozen or so dancers working the whole club. I would rate all of them in the 0 to 5 range. About half the ladies were super skinny haggard-looking white chicks that were covered with tattoos. There were a couple of morbidly obese Latinas. Then the rest looked like they were either refugees from the defunct Cheaters or should be working at the new Satin Doll. That fat porker “Jayden” (formerly of Cadillac Lounge fame) still scams here. On my last visits there was occasionally a diamond in the rough to be discovered here. Not this time! The only positive comments I think of- they finally updated the interior a bit getting rid of some of the cheesy 1980’s Miami Vice/tiki bar theme- the place doesn’t smell as funky as it did before- and I didn’t see that miserable little bald-headed prick that used to man the Fantasy Island cash register upstairs. Aside from those improvements this place sucked- but not in a good way! There’s three clubs nearby that have a zillion times better talent- Foxy Lady, Desire and Cadillac Lounge. Fantasies is not any cheaper than those and the rules are much more liberal (for the time being) at those clubs. Bottom line- after this visit I won’t be back to this dump anytime soon.