I've never reviewed this club because...

I've never reviewed this club because it's already been reviewed by every strip-joint prowler in the Southeast, so what else is there left to say? And also it's just not my kind of club - it's too big and too loud, and the dancers are too young, too perky and too cute for my taste.

Nevertheless, it also happens to be just about the only game in town when you are passing through Columbia at 4 p.m. on a Sunday. 4 p.m., by the way, is also when they open on Sunday, and that's exactly when I got there. I must give them props for having a dancer up on stage by the time I got settled into a chair with a beer, even though there were only a couple of other guys in the place at the time. It didn't take long for the crowd to pick up - other strip joint managers, take note.

There was also a heavy metal dancer named Shy, who I found intriguing because you don't see many girls, especially her age, dancing to heavy metal any more. And she wore a leash. She, like most of the dancers here, will show you a lot of affection for a $1 tip.

Another dancer, who I am not going to name to protect the guilty. plopped down in my lap and started massaging my neck and running her fingers through my hair. Note to dancers: this method is guaranteed to get me, and probably every other guy, into the lap dance room. Her lap dance was quite a lot of fun.

It would be interesting to see what this place might become if management ever decides to turn the volume down a few notches.