Spearmint Rhino has the nicest interior...

Spearmint Rhino has the nicest interior of any club I've visited, but that's where the swank ends. A $5 cover, a long drive from Portland, and a bunch of lethargic dancers is all you get. I asked for a dark beer, but the knowledgeable bartender said they didn't have any available. She recommended a "funky" local beer, so that's what I got. Thankfully, it was a good suggestion and the highlight of my time at the club. I wish the waitresses had been dancing, since they were better looking and had better bodies than the stage dancers. They were dressed in black Playboy bunny style onesies sans poofy tails.<br>

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This night advertised a former porn star as the feature. I arrived a few minutes before her last show and found why she was a former star. Saggy bolt-ons and an unenthusiastic performance were the order of the day. They did try a game of dunk-the-dollar in her vagina, though, to mixed response. There were two very attractive dancers, one tall, thin black and a shorter European who spent their time tied up with either the manager or the owner. He looked Russian or Ukranian and I should have spent a few minutes chatting with him, but felt like engaging my friends instead. The other 3-4 girls were below what I was expecting for this club...maybe 6-7's. One did look like that Topanga girl from the old TV show "Boy Meets World". Unfortunately, she had some sores on her legs and feet that looked pretty gnarley.<br>

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I spent some time tipping at the stage, but despite being the only tipper, received minimal attention. I should have taken the hint when earlier I observed an obviously wealthy 60 year-old tipping generously and getting 0 attention. It honestly seemed like the girls were afraid of the manager/owner and were more interested in making sure he wasn't jealous than they were in making money. The video poker machines were completely occupied during my whole visit, but the stage rarely saw more than 2 or 3 tippers. Some patrons bought dances during the 2 for 1 specials. The songs were demonstrably cut short, being interrupted mid beat after 3 minutes or less. This is the first club I've attended with notably cut-off songs. The $15/dance price seems reasonable until you realize you get 25-30% less time for the money.<br>