I break up my reviews into 4 sections so you can skip a section which does not interest you:

I) Intro
II) Club Layout
III) Dancers
IV) Conclusion

The following acronyms are used in this review:

LD = Lap Dance
SC = Strip Club
PL = Pathetic Loser (see TUSCL glossary)
IDK = I Donâ€™t Know
w.r.t = with respect to
IMO = in my opinion

INTRO:
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I live in Miami â€“ but I SC a lot a lot and sometimes get burned out with the same ole same ole. When Iâ€™m bored with the Miami scene; I usually hit Pompano and sometimes WPB.

Although Iâ€™m a white Hispanic guy; I mostly visit all-black SCs b/c Iâ€™m into the chocolate â€“ but just like I get burned out with the same ole club scene and need a change of pace/scenery; I also sometimes get burned out w/ the black dancer thing.

When Iâ€™m bored/burned-out with my regular SC scene; Iâ€™ll usually hit a different type of club and/or a club Iâ€™ve never been to b/f (or have not visited in a long time). I had never visited Tâ€™s but have seen reviews about it from time to time when I peruse the daily TUSCL reviews. I didnâ€™t think Tâ€™s would be my kind of club and thus the reason I went on a recon mission just to check out something different than what I usually do SC wise.

I visited Tâ€™s on Fr night 5/16/14 and arrived around 11:00 pm and stayed `till about 1:30 a.m. There was a $10 cover â€“ free parking - $6.25 Heineken â€“ and a $10 Vodka shot for an already drunk white dancer.

CLUB LAYOUT:
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Tâ€™s is a smallish club but not a hole in the wall. It has a small lobby when one walks in to pay the cover to the cashier.

As soon as one walks into the main room; there is a bar straight ahead and a small satellite stage at the far end of that bar.

To the left of the entrance is the actual main room with a rectangular stage in the middle. The stage is avg sized with stage-side seating on 3 sides I believe â€“ one of the sides of the stage faces a VIP seating area l believe. The stage is a bit too dark for my taste and I believe it had one or 2 poles. I saw 2 dancers on the main stage but only one actually dancing while the other (previous dancer) walks the rail for tips.

When you make a left to enter the main room; the main stage is to your right; there is a small slightly elevated seating area to your left (small round cocktail tables and chairs); and a 2nd bar in the back slight left.

There are small round cocktail tables and low chairs in the main room around the stage.

The LD area is semi-open; fairly dark but one can still see (and others can see you) â€“ and it is against the back and side walls. The LD area consists of mini-booths of sorts â€“ basically small padded benches wide enough to sit 3 or so people with each bench having dividers â€“ you wonâ€™t see the PL next to you but o/w itâ€™s pretty open.

I think the dancers dance at 3 stations â€“ the main stage, and the small satellite stage I mentioned above that is by bar #1 â€“ but I did hear the DJ announcing which dancers were supposed to be dancing where and he would mention the main stage; the satellite stage, and the bar â€“ I did not notice a dancer dancing at the bar from my vantage point.

I usually prefer to sit at the bar â€“ but neither bar was particularly close to or had a good view of the stage; so I sat at one of the low small round cocktail tables around the stage.

I think I saw some semi-private booths/rooms behind bar #1 but I did not get a good view (they seemed pretty private but not completely private) â€“ IDK if they have completely private VIP rooms.

DANCERS:
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It appeared to be around 10 to 12 dancers on this Fr eve. Thatâ€™s a bit of a low # but Tâ€™s is not a very big club nor does it seem to get big crowds (club was about 1/2 full) â€“ so w/ 10-12 dancers only; one can still get some company especially since the club does not seem to have a lot of custies buying dances.

TUSCL has â€œwhiteâ€ as the â€œdancer ethnicityâ€ for this club â€“ this should be changed to â€œmixedâ€ â€“ of the 10-12 or so dancers â€“ 4 of them were black and probably 2 Latinas. The dancers were avg â€“ not great â€“ but not terrible â€“ they would be in the 5-6 range w/ most of them being in the medium-build range and a bit older.

The dancersâ€™ looks would not be the reason to go to this club â€“ but they *were* very friendly and the LDs were pretty good 2-way contact although nothing over the top (T&A groping and some titty sucking).

Dancers were not pushy â€“ but they do come and sit next to you and chat you up for a song or 2 and then pop the question. There is also no tip-parade by the dancers post their stage routine nor did I have any dancers coming up to me asking for tips just b/c (as in some clubs) â€“ and only one dancer asked me to buy her a drink.

LDs are $25 in the LD area I described in the previous section. The song length seems to vary â€“ I timed some songs w/ my cell ph at 3:30 which is not bad (many clubs I visit seem to be going to 2.5-3 minute song lengths) â€“ but some other songs seemed shorter â€“ some clubs seem to mix or stagger their song lengths so a PL canâ€™t really tell some songs are cut and it appears to me they do this @ Tâ€™s â€“ some songs def seemed shorter (sub 3-minute) than others.

They have a 3-for-$30 â€œspecialâ€ that seems to go on at the top of every hour but not really sure as to the frequency. The 3-for-$30 songs were really short â€“ they felt like 2-minutes each or even shorter (I didnâ€™tâ€™ time those songs but they were def VERY short).

I got LDs from 3 different dancers:

1st dancer was a light skinned black chick with whitish features - she said she was born in Jamaica but grew up in Germany; and said her maternal grandmother was Korean â€“ she had an ok body with medium build but not very curvy as many black women â€“ she was busty but I soon found out during our LDs that her boobs were fake â€“ they were not bad â€“ they were pretty soft â€“ but I pretty strongly dislike fake boobs and usually will not get dances from fake-boobed dancers â€“ she was pretty pleasant as far as dancers go and gave some decent LDs with decent 2-way contact but nothing to write home about as we PLs say.

2nd dancer was a 34 y/o (or so she told me) white chick of Italian decent (or so she told me) â€“ she had long straight dark hair to the middle of her back and dark eyes and had white/palish skin â€“ she was slim with a flat stomach; small B-cups which seemed natural although I felt a bit of hardness (could have been breast firmness?) â€“ her butt was small but in proportion to her smallish build and her legs were slender although not stick thin â€“ she said she had been a dancer and had not danced for a while and just got back into it â€“ she was very friendly and was probably a pretty good looking chick in her younger days â€“ she did not look bad but she was not a young firm-bodied stunner â€“ her best feature per my personal tastes were her pretty big, hard, and fairly erect dark brown nipples â€“ her dances were pretty good w/ pretty good 2-way contact â€“ she was a little too chatty for my tastes even talking during the LDs when I was trying to concentrate on the task at hand LOL â€“ she said she had just gotten back into dancing after a few years off and was nervous and a bit lacking in confidence â€“ it may have been SS (stripper shit â€“ see TUSCL glossary) but it sounded convincing and she did look/act the part.

3rd/final dancer I got dances from was another black dancer â€“ she was medium build but more lean than thick and was very busty (looked like DDs) but she was def enhanced but I really could not tell at a distance since the club is pretty dark. She had a long blonde wig and light brown skin and seemed to be in her mid-20s and was in decent shape â€“ was very friendly â€“ and was fairly attractive â€“ her dances started off as sensual but with not much grinding although she was liberal w.r.t. my touching â€“ after the 1st song she became more of a grinder â€“ her dances were pretty good w/ pretty good 2-way contact.

They had a â€œfeature dancerâ€ on this night â€“ I think she may have taken the stage around 12:30 or so â€“ IDK who she was but she was a tanned blond chick maybe in her late 20s and was supposed to be some kind of porn actress. She looked ok but not exactly my type since Iâ€™m primarily into chocolate and secondarily into dark-haired Latinas â€“ I really did not pay much attention and neither did much of the thin crowd (didnâ€™t notice hardly anyone approaching the stage to tip her). I thought it was kind of lame and kinda a 80s/90s thing and I kinda felt bad for the feature â€“ it was a small club with a light crowd â€“ but as the dancer whom was siting with me said â€“ â€œyeah but they pay her to be hereâ€. I think the time of â€œfeature dancersâ€ has come and gone â€“ it is more of a 80s/90s thing when SCs were still more of a novelty and having a â€œfeature dancerâ€ would probably draw in SC-inexperienced PLs â€“ but now a days it does not do much for business IMO unless it is someone really well known and in large SC w/ lots of custies.

CONCLUSION:
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Tâ€™s looks like a SC that has been around for a while (first review was in Jan 2004 but probably been around longer than that?).

Tâ€™s looks a bit old-school and kinda of a 80s/90s type of SC â€“ it def does not have a corporate feel.

I noticed 2 waitresses that were a bit pushy but not rude â€“ with a club that was not very full â€“ and it being Fr night (meaning biz is probably worse during weeknights); I guess they need to be a bit pushy so they could make some dough.

Dancers were very friendly and seemed to sit w/ custies and chat â€“ probably donâ€™t have a choice b/c of the semi-slim pickings. It seems kinda a localâ€™s place with a semi-regular following (i.e. seems like some dancers have their regulars they stick to â€“ I saw one attractive medium build black dancer I would have liked to have gotten dances from but she was sitting with an older, fat, bold, white dude, most of the time I was there â€“ I didnâ€™t see the dude spend any $$$ on her but she would not leave his side at his table â€“ he must be taking care of her some way).

Besides the fact the club is about 1 hour away from where I live in Miami; I probably would not visit any time soon â€“ not b/c the club is terrible â€“ just not my type of club.

The dancers were ok but nothing to salivate about â€“ what this club has to offer is that it is laid back; dancers are very friendly; and there is no thug factor- the crowd was mixed b/w white and Latino (did not see any black custies); was a bit older; and kinda working class types. The music was not too loud and one could hold a conversation fairly easily â€“ music was mostly rock and alternative; didnâ€™t notice any rap music (probably the reason I did not notice many black or young people).

I wouldnâ€™t recommend this club if you are looking for eye candy or a really jumping SC â€“ but if you want to spend a couple of hours in a low-drama place with friendly dancers; then this is what this club has to offer IMO.

One last thing - supposedly (dancer told me) there is a LD counter dude/employee that keeps track of the dances (dancer is supposed to give $5 of the $25 to the house for each dance). IDK where this dude was but apparently he keeps watch of the LDs and the LD area so he can know how many dances the dancers are giving and thus how much they need to pay the club - meaning that there appear to be eyes watching while you are trying to get your freak on in the LD area â€“ although I did not notice the staff other than the waitresses since there was no one wearing tuxedos or anything and I did not see any staff being intrusive in any way.