I recently did a west coast...

I recently did a west coast swing and got to experience two well-known clubs. It was about 9:00 on a Wednesday night when I arrived at the O’Farrell. I’d heard this place was like an adult Disneyland, but it was unusually quiet, and like Disneyland it’s a little creepy when there aren’t people around.

The hustle starts the moment you enter the door and pay the exorbitant $40 admission fee. (Yes, it’s cheaper during daylight hours.) From there it’s easy to get excited about the place. Wow, there’s a Mitchell Brothers museum! Cool, there’s a porno movie theater! Gorgeous women everywhere! I went into the New York Room and tipped the girl on stage a buck. She ended up giving me a little mini-lap dance. It starts really well.

Unfortunately the mystique quickly fades when you learn how much it costs for the good stuff. Dance tokens are $30 a piece, and they won’t get you far. One token will probably get you a single CLOTHED dance. It takes more tokens to get a topless or nude dance, and $120 for 10 minutes in one of the back rooms. From there it takes another $100 for a HJ or $200 for a BJ. If you do the Ultra Room show, a girl will briefly grope you standing up for $20 but you can’t return the favor.