When I asked people about Paradise...

When I asked people about Paradise City, most of them didn't have anything good to say - I heard a lot about asshole bouncers, girls so ugly not even a sniper would take them out, that kind of thing. Well, as a scientist, I knew I had to check it out and draw my own conclusions.

I went there with my friend around 11 p.m. after we hit the bars. Cover was $10, but where I'm from it's $15, so I didn't think it was unreasonable. Right away I saw how hot the girls were, and this was on a weekday. My friend and I sat by the stage for a bit and got a bunch of big American tits shoved in our faces, which is always cool.

After that we sat down at a table, and within a few minutes a couple of girls joined us. Not only were they hotter than three rats fucking in a wool sock, they were friendly and not at all pushy about getting us to buy lap dances. It was my birthday, and when I said that, one of the girls stuck matches onto her nipples, lit them, and told me to blow out my candles and make a wish! Nice girl.