I went to All Stars on...

I went to All Stars on a Monday evening and stayed for about an hour. This place epitomizes the phrase “dive bar with strippers”. All of the clientele were blue collar Poles and Mexicans. There is a bar on the side of the room near the door, tables and chairs in the middle third of the building, and two pool tables on the farther third of the building. There was one very small stage, about the size of a card table, one foot off of the ground. At least it had a pole. The stage was unoccupied for 95% of my visit. It seems there is no dance order and getting up on stage is voluntary, not mandatory. The music is played off of an Internet jukebox by the dancers. They were playing R&B and hip hop songs, despite all of them being either Caucasian or Hispanic. Budweiser’s and Bud Light’s cost me $4 each. The only food that is served is Home Run Inn Pizzas. A large size is $10 and a personal size is $5. The men’s washroom was very cramped and dirty. The bartenders and waitress are nothing to look at. Security is provided by a lone fat bouncer who checks ID’s when customers enter.

There were seven dancers on duty and I don’t think any of them rated above a 6. Three of the seven were what I’d consider obese. All three of the porkers approached me, but none of the 5’s or 6’s did. They seemed to be locked down with regulars that would buy them a drink and buy a couple lap dances every so often. Dancers must keep a top and bottom on at all time, so the best you are going to get is a dancer in a bikini grinding on you. The $10 lap dances take place on bar stools in a corner of the pool table room or in the main room which gives you no privacy and a very uncomfortable experience. At least your hands can touch whatever you want.

I was not very impressed with the facility or the dancers, so I will likely not return. The only thing All Stars has going for it is that a visit doesn’t break the bank. All Stars is more like a neighborhood bar than a strip club.