This club is visually stunning. ...

This club is visually stunning. I'm told it just opened Feb 2014. It presents itself like an upscale dance club that happens to be populated with hot half-naked women. There were a lot of female patrons which contributed to the club vibe. Apparently on Fridays and Saturdays its even more ambiguous as to whether you are in Liv or in a Cabaret. The neighborhood is a bit sketchy, but my friends and I actually walked there part of the way and survived. There are three stages and dancers do 2 songs per stage. Topless. The dancer quality is very very good. Very few of the girls I spoke with were local. The club flies them in from all over - a lot of talent. And unique to the Miami scene: a lot less plastic surgery. There were a fair number of fake boobs, but I didn't see any butt implants - the scourge of Miami. I am a big fan of the posterior but surgical "enhancement" of any type is a total turnoff to me.

I talked with lots of girls and the club has a very fun party atmosphere. I did a total of 4 dances with 3 girls. The dance menu is ambiguous - and very expensive. All dances are private and the couches / curtains are very nice. That said, one song is $40. I didn't even know this was an option though because the first girl I danced with told me the "bottom rung" was 3 songs for $100 topless or $150 nude. The ATM fee for withdrawal is 50 DOLLARS. FIVE O DOLLARS just to have the privilege to take money out.

So I went for the $150 option. The girl was super sexy but there was not much meaningful contact. The second $150 experience was a sloppy drunk who spent the whole time cajoling me to tip her more so she could "get freaky." It was clearly a complete hustle and the dance was absolutely terrible. I was pretty much ready to call it a night. Then I meet this very genuine very sexy girl. I actually confess to her that the club seems a bit schwag because the dances are expensive and they suck, despite the impressive facility and cool vibe. She gives me some of the expected "you just didn't go back with the right girl" stuff - only something about her made me believe it. I take her back for $100 topless and she is very good and she seems to be enjoying herself as well. We decided to go upstairs for $450 / half hour. At this point I had to break out the plastic. That's when things got weird. The bouncer guy takes my card and my license. He comes back with a form. The form has an image of my license and credit card at the top. There are a lot of words I don't take the time to read and a place for my signature at the bottom. Then he produces this ink pad thing and asks me to provide my FINGERPRINT in the right lower corner. I hesitate but ultimately comply. WTF? We go upstairs, order some drinks, talk for a bit before the drinks come. Her dance is VERY good. We are both enjoying ourselves. She's nude and I'm kissing her inner thigh. 20 seconds later bouncer pokes his head in: "none of that". Wo. Tight surveillance. We are freaked out but chuckling about it. 2 minutes later a manager guy points a red flashlight in on us like a cop at a DUI checkpoint. He steps in, whispers something to the girl, exits. She tells me she's definitely in trouble and she has been instructed to go see so-and-so after the dance. Now I feel bad for her and she's stressed. We made the most of the remaining time (I told her to put her panties back on just so we could be sure we stayed within the boundaries). A bouncer guy poked his head in two more times. What's more, there were about 20 very brief bright red flashes of light. I am 100% convinced that I was being photographed.

So now I am pretty sure my girl got fired and I'm probably either going to get arrested or extorted or my identity will be sold to the Russian mafia complete with fingerprint. I can only blame myself for choosing poorly - but my critique of E11even boils down to this: if you're going to charge very large sums of money for any decent contact with the dancers, then give the dancers a little latitude and discretion. The fingerprint-form, flashing red lights, and harsh treatment of my dancer made this a very regrettable experience. If you go to E11even, bring A LOT of cash, but don't expect to have very much fun.