First and last visit. Do not...

First and last visit. Do not waste your time with Puzzles. Friendly staff… but poor layout, and bad dancer quality.

So the story goes: I contacted my homie Rell about Puzzles. I also read his review and he praised a dancer named “Bubbles”. So I decided to go check the place out because Rell is usually on point with his reviews. At around 10:30pm on Friday, September 6, 2013 I arrived at Puzzles located at 3609 Saint Barnabas. It is five minutes away from Suitland Metro Station and is next to a barbershop, a nail salon, a pizza place, and a few other stores. There is a lady at the front desk of the club who requires that customers sign some stupid tape recording agreement in order to enter the club. I HATE clubs like this. Bazz & Crue does the same retarded shit. She said she wanted to make sure customers were not the “Police”. Smh. [Side note: What they should do at Puzzles is simply take my $10 cover, frisk me down, and let me the fuck in. Period. Fuck signing off on shit.] So that had me a little pissed off. The only thing that somewhat ameliorated this vexation was that the cover was only $10 before 11pm. So that made me feel a little better.

As soon as I step inside the club itself and saw how it looked I thought to myself “I can’t believe I wasted my time coming out here and even paying a $10 cover.” Lmao. The club looked that bad. I knew it was going to be one of those ONE AND DONE, FIRST AND LAST time club visits. The place is simply a room. The stage is makeshift and there are two televisions that show the movie Think Like A Man. Also, there are a few dyke customers in the club. Just letting you know. There is a VIP area that is essentially a dark closet with a sheet separating it from the rest of the club. [Side note: I think a VIP Extra experience is possible here. It may depend on the dancer though. I would not partake though. Just not my thing.]