Club Downtown sucks. On paper it...

Club Downtown sucks. On paper it seems great, $10 dances, full contact, middle of downtown Montreal, what's not to like? A number of things make this "cheap" club incredibly expensive.

I've been to Club Downtown twice. Once 3 years ago while visiting Montreal, and once tonight. I didn't review it then after a terrible experience because I figured I just had some bad luck and they should get the benefit of the doubt. No, it's institutionalized awful. Three years ago I had a girl pull the shadiest maneuver I've ever had pulled on me at a club. After the last dance when I told her I was done, she wanted to chat for a bit, and I did. After the chat, she charged me for an additional song because it was still in the room. I thought that was ridiculous and she had stalled me intentionally, but the bouncer took her side. I gave her the money and walked out.

Tonight I wandered in again unintentionally, and decided to give it a second shot since I had already paid the cover. The layout of the seats seems designed to make for horrible dances: They're single uncomfortable dentist waiting room-style seats with rigid metal backs and arms that make it almost impossible for a girl to straddle you, so for most of every dance, you get an "air show" which defeats the purpose of a full contact club because the girls are out of reach. Lap dance area is also on the second floor of the club, so it strongly encourages multiple dances if only because you feel bad for the dancers having to walk those stairs each time, and every girl seems to jump right into dancing without waiting for the next song, so you're almost guaranteed to lose out on half a song. Also, and this happened with every single girl I went in with, they didn't take off their tops until the second song, which makes me think it's just the way things are done at that club. After finally finding a girl that actually sat on my lap a bit for my "lap dance," I asked her about the "bed shows" which are supposed to be fully nude, no contact. She said they were lesbian shows only (a lie, since an earlier dancer called it a solo show that cost $10 a dance as well, and the signage also supported that). She said it would be $20 for two girls, so I was like, ok, sure, that could be fun, why not.