Bu Bye Marios
After a horrible experience at Desires, I decided to go off the board and go here, like an idiot. I have been going here on and off since the Fuzzy Grape days, starting in the mid 1970s. Sometimes I like it, sometimes it sucks, and after my last trip it is off the list. Just a terribly run club. Things I didn't like before last Sunday: Metal detector and scanning licenses at night; sporadic lineups; too many days/nights where dancers pull a no show and it is understaffed. CR that is the most expensive house fee I have ever seen. Thigs I fucking hated before Sunday: scanning licenses in the day or you cannot buy a drink, then being lied to when they said it was mandated by a state law. 43 years of OUIL practice says fuck you, the law doesn't require it; fucking liars. Now to Sunday:
Layout: Parking lot is expanded and partly new pavement. Walk into the club and the bar is immediately to the right; walk through the metal detector (I set it off every time and never get patted down) get your license scanned and pay your ten-dollar cover. Large stage straight ahead. CR area which is overpriced beyond comprehension is behind the bar. There are tables with chairs and benches against the wall between the stage and the pool table and the lap dance room, which is semi-private is behind the table. When you get a dance, you have to stand by the door with the dancer until the song ends, then sprint for a seat. It is reversed when you're done. Laps are full nude- full contact, mostly. There is a small center stage, about the size of a truck tire in the middle where dancers can go up and dance whenever they want, in my mind, solely to pressure those sitting close to tip them.
Dancers: Hit or miss beyond belief. You can show up, like I did on a Friday night last summer, and find 10 girls to dance with, or like Sunday you might look at them, take your car keys and save your life by jamming them in both eyes. The laps are Providence contact with most, which makes it great on a good day and irrelevant on a bad day.
Sunday night had 8 dancers. Although I am a spinner fan, 3 of them were stick figures and unpalatable. Two were obese and not considered. The first dancer to approach me had fake boobs, a fake enhanced ass, spoke broken English, was overly made up and looked at least 40 -50 and badly maintained. She gave me shit when I turned her down and bad-mouthed me for 10 minutes to her ugly friend. Why people think all old people are dead still amazes me. That's 6 dancers.
Dancer #7, despite looking bored and uninterested as an ebony spinner and looked great. She got on the little stage and stood there doing nothing other than being bored. As I sipped my $6.00 beer (a good deal) I decided to give her a shot. So I approached and asked if she was interested in a dance. This is what followed: Her: How many dances do you want? Me: We haven't even done one, hy would you ask me that. Her: I want to know how many to make sure you have the money. To be fair, I am the worst dressed man on earth, but in 50 years of doing this, no one has ever asked me what she did and what she then said. Me: If you're not asking me to show you my money, why does it matter how many dances I want and if you want I can pay you after each one. Her: You don't look like you have any money (to be fair I had slightly less than $800.00) so I want to know how many dances do you want? Me: right now I would be happy with zero. her: Fine. I started back to my seat, sipped my beer, pivoted, threw it in the trash and accepted the fact that this place never recovered from the pandemic and it sucks. I won't be back. If I want rude, fat, ugly dancers to overcharge me, Worcester is closer and no different.
What's really sad is that the real Marios was in Johnston Rhode Island back in the day and remains one of my top 5 clubs over the past 50 years. The new Marios is similar to calling a 450 lb blonde Marilyn Monroe.
