This is my review of Cafe...

This is my review of Cafe Risque from my visit in winter of 2012. My visit was in mid to late afternoon of a weekday.

When traveling south down I75 in Florida, one cannot help but notice the signs every mile or so for Cafe Risque in Micanopy. The signs promise "We Bare It All". I had heard of this restaurant near Gainseville that doubled as a strip club, and when I started seeing the signs, I knew that this must be the place. After having driven 8+ hours without eating, I was hungry, so I decided that that a place to get food and watch topless women would be awesome.

When I turned off the interstate, I initially thought that I had taken the wrong exit. There was what appeared to be an abandoned hotel, and not much more. After turning off the highway, I quickly spotted the sign and realized that I was not lost. I pulled into the parking lot, and I had the feeling that I was pulling into a truck stop. When I walked through the door, it felt like I was walking into a sketchy adult toy store or theater. There is a cashier taking money for a cover and ringing up the required purchase of a soft drink. There is a heavy smell of fried food and cooking oil in the air from the kitchen that is obviously not well ventilated. After paying my cover and for my drink, I walked into the "restaurant" strip club.

Once inside, my expectations were low. I assumed that the food would be so-so greasy spoon fair, and that the ladies would be of the Hee-Haw variety. I was pleasantly surprised! There were two ladies dancing on the row of poles that lines one wall. Both were white. One was probably in her early 20s, petite, and with tiny breasts and extremely erect nipples. She was obviously going for the "barely legal" look, and she pulled it off well. There was another lady who was probably in her late 20s or early 30s. She was a small BBW, but she carried her size well. I took a seat, and an average-looking lady in lingerie came to my table to take my order. She was flirty but not obnoxious. She took my food order and disappeared into the kitchen. The BBW who had been dancing swapped places with a tall and heavily tattooed punk-rock looking dancer in her late 30s.

There were 4-5 Hispanic men at the seats that lined the opposite wall, and they were getting much attention from one of the ladies. A large white man was sitting near them, but obviously not in their group, and not interested in being solicited for dances. While there was a row of seats and a bar/table directly in front of and below the dancers, none of the seats were occupied. I would rate most of the dancers high on attractiveness, but low on enthusiasm. It was obvious that this was just a job for them. The lady who waited my table seemed to be the only one truly happy, or at least caring enough to give off the appearance that she was happy. When my food arrived, I realized that this was definitely not a place to order a meal, and I wished that I had just stuck with the required drink. Ah well, aside from the bad food, the experience was not so bad. The lady who had waited my table earlier came by to flirt more and hit me up for a lap dance. She was quite persuasive, until she told me that dances were $40! When I told her that I was not interested, she did not leave as expected, but stayed nearby, flirted some more, and gave me peak at her very nice b or c cups. I left her a generous tip!