Scarlett’s! You seductive bitch! I may...

Scarlett’s! You seductive bitch! I may roam but this weary traveler is no match for your siren’s song. Other dens have their charms. Swanky-posh to ghetto-fabulous. All can be had. All have been explored. But you. You! You might be just right. I part the curtains after paying the cover (the $5 off coupon from your website or the local tabloid takes the edge off) and enter your cozy but not cramped middle room. I purchase the mandatory non-alcoholic beverage and settle in to admire your charms. On this evening I spied two athletic African-Americans. Three buxom Latinas. And five petite whites. All lovely. All nicely appointed. Strategically placed body paintings tastefully done. Not too much. Just right. Each taking turns solo on stage revealing more with each song until completely nude (you can leave your shoes on) for the last one.

One petite white comes by to chat a bit. She comes back with a friend (same demographic) that I find more interesting. She had a pleasant hustle. She had me when she told me I had left me free will at the door. I told her that a trained mind can overcome our subconscious impulses. She said not here with her. (Sing, siren, sing!) Then she made a misstep when she uttered that classic piece of stripper shit when she said that she hadn’t had sex in a long time. (Does that really make guys rush to VIP?) I called her out on it but she was insistent. I let it go and take it to the private dance area. I pay the $10 fee to the bartender for a small room. (That’s $20 total straight to the house before I so much as touch a nipple, which I guess isn’t so bad, considering. There are also larger rooms for $50). I say no to the buying the lady a drink. I hear they get a discount on their house fees for every bottle of water they sell but it looks like incremental income to me and I figure she’d rather have the cash. So we go. She closes the curtain and entertains me with one of Scarlett’s (in)famous high mileage dances. It left me wondering exactly who had checked their free will at the door.