Tony's Place is perpetual blegh. You...

Tony's Place is perpetual blegh. You know how you go "blegh" when you bit into a burger from Roy Rogers(remember Roy Rogers? Your digestive tract probably just did) Or, like, if you fell asleep with HBO on, and woke up to Lena Dunham taking off her $80 daisy duke top(oh God) to reveal her unsightly, bag of misshapen pears-lookin breastuses on "Girls" - that blegh? That's pretty much Tony's Place in a wordy, roundabout type of way: a sloppy, 20-something lard machine's hipster's tiddays that's "cool n' hip" because..you know, it's from a females perspective. Or some shit.

Tony's Place looks approachable from the outside - too approachable. Like it looks like a fuckin' Outback Steakhouse from the outside. And this is where the real "blegh" factor starts to comes into play; Tony's Place is essentially a titty saloon for guys to bring their female coworkers to without giving the impression that they're creepy and, like, smell their female coworker's work chair when they leave to go to the bathroom or something. Like, the bulk of the crowd that was in attendance the Saturday evening I went was comprised of guys with their female associates. Like, guys were feigning interest with what their female tag along was babbling about over a Mike's Hard Lemonade, all the while 3 inches away from the actual stage.

Tony's Place is "fun"; It was "pirates night" the Saturday I went, and all the girls were scantily clad "pirates" for the night. You know, to keep the strip club experience not-chair sniffing risque, but wink-wink risque. They had little "wacky" contests interspersed between dances. Like one contest had a girl and a guy get on stage and tie an empty tissue box with filled with golf balls to their backside, and whomever shook all the golfballs out their tissue box first using their butt(lol!) won a lifetime VIP pass(not as glamorous as you think - still gotta pay for the dances in VIP, just not the cover charge).