As near as I can figure,...

As near as I can figure, it's pretty much a crap-shoot as to how much mileage you'll get here.

I've taken girls upstairs, and had (mostly) air dances....and yet I've been severely man-handled right at the bar at other times.

Usually the reality is somewhere between those extremes....and you can count on genuine grinding (at least) at the bar stools, and continual and serious pressure and attention paid to the woodman when you take them upstairs.