My business in SoCal was done,...

My business in SoCal was done, and I had a free afternoon. What better activity could there be than a strip club tour?

First stop: the Bird. I had been here several times in the last few years, and it was always unpredictable. This visit started out in an amazing way: within three minutes after sitting down, a somewhat older but still attractive dancer had snuggled up next to me at the table, unzipped me, and was playing with my stuff. Right there in the open room.

Her enthusiasm diminished when I made it clear that I wasn't a VIP type of guy, where full service would have clearly been available. We ended up doing a few laps, which were a good bargain at $10, but not nearly as satisfying as the foreplay had been.