Since I was going to be...

Since I was going to be in town a while, I thought I'd check this place out myself. I'd seen other reviews that gave it hits or misses and in those cases, there's only one thing to do, so I did it. The electric palm trees out front are a hoot. For a second it didn't even register what they were, it was so over-the-top cheesy, but after a good smile, I went in.

The doorman was rather dickish, made it seem like nobody was welcome and that customers were disturbing his reading time, but hey, I wasn't there to hang around with his hairy ass, so I paid my ten and went in. The transition from brightly-lit foyer to dark club room lit only with strobes and swirling lights was a bit much; I almost missed seeing the two steps down. (But had I busted an arm or something, that should have been good for a shitload of free dances!) Alas, I survived and took a seat at an empty table fairly close to the stage where a somewhat thick dancer was working the pole. Thick, mind you, not fat. A little of a tummy, but curvy and solid and she knew how to move. Extra points for attitude!

The audience seemed not to give two shits and nobody applauded (even fewer tipped) so when her set was over, she took to the floor and another, slightly heavier dancer took over. A little girl play from sympathetic coworkers sharing their tips went on, but this dancer went the way of the other. Just when a hardbodied, brown-skinned morsel took the stage, I was violently accosted by Britney, who placed her hand mercilessly on my thigh and began smiling and talking. Utterly helpless, I allowed myself to be talked into a dance. (Okay, I lie. I asked first. I'm a whore; sue me.)