I went to The Lumber Yard...

I went to The Lumber Yard on a Thursday evening from about 9:30 to 11:30. This place is truly the ‘Big Box’ of strip clubs—it’s huge! It offers multiple stages on multiple levels where you can grab a balcony seat to see it all, a tip rail seat for front row action or a party table with a big tub in the center for your beer. While it is a BYOB club, the only booze you can bring in is beer and I don’t typically drink beer in a strip club; I like my flask! Shortly after I arrived I was politely approached by a bouncer and informed that I can’t drink hard liquor inside the club. While he did not ask me to leave, he did ask me to put the flask out in the car—a real mood breaker for me—I like my rum! Now, the girls that were on duty during my two hour visit while fairly attractive were either very curvy or older. That’s fine by me; I appreciate a tight body in her forties and don’t go for the younger girls with 20 extra pounds, but then I’m an older guy. A couple of bucks at the tip rail gets you a fair amount of Booby Bashing and/or a Mini-Lap so it’s not a bad place to hang out for a couple of hours—if you only want to drink beer. I also got the feeling that there was as much tactile contact at the tip rail as there would be in the VIP. So I didn’t buy any dances; this place has far too many Bird Dogs. But WTH, it’s in Iowa; it aint in Texas!