Creekside Cabaret is located right beside...

Creekside Cabaret is located right beside a water treatment plant at the end of the road after passing a bunch of factories and warehouses. The building itself looks like some kind of former warehouse or municipal garage converted into a titty bar. Cover is $5 on Friday and Saturday evenings. At other times, I think it is free. As you walk in, you pass a room with pool tables on the left. Then you pass a room with changing partitions on the left. This is the champagne room. Straight ahead is the main room of the club. The main room of the club has a fifty foot ceiling. The back wall has large garage doors. To your left is a really nice bar, reminiscent of a night club. Tons of bottles, and they are all lit up by neon lights. The center of the room has a large run way stage with three poles staggered on it so three dancers can perform at once. To the right is a platform that the DJ is perched on. The girls must take a stairway up to the top of the platform, and then she must take a different stairway down the platform to reach the stage. The stage is about four feet off the ground. Long table barriers prevent patrons from getting within three or four feet of the stage. To tip the stage you have to throw money across the moat or wait until the dancer’s set is over and does a tip parade through the moat. Lots of guys were crumpling bills into balls and pelting the ladies, which seemed degrading. The music was pop, rock, R&B, and hip hop. A Bud Light cost me $5. I later found out the club always offers Yuengling Light for $2, by far the best drink deal at this club. Be careful when dancers try to get you to buy them drinks; some of the premium ones are like $11-13 a crack.

Dancers were generally good-looking, with a few dogs mixed in. Ages ranged from 21 to mid-thirties. Hazel and Rose were two of the stunners. Also check out a black dancer named Morgan; her body is so fit. Avoid a spectacle-wearing, tatted up dancer named Zoey; her lap dances were lame and her deadbeat boyfriend hovers around. Topless lap dances are $20. Nude lap dances are $40. Both are one-way contact dances off in a side room of the club with a bird dog staring you down the whole time. You must keep your arms on the armrests of the couch, or the bouncer will reprimand you. The songs were full length, but the one-way touching still made them a bad value. You have to put your drink on a table by the bouncer and do not have access to it while you are getting a dance. Lame! I TOFTT and tried out the half hour VIP room. The VIP room starts at $195 and includes a bottle of champagne. The more expensive the bottle of champagne, the more expensive the VIP session will be. For example, the base rate of $195 included a cheap bottle of fizz like Andre. A half hour with a bottle of Moet and Chandon Imperial might be about $350 or so. If you can’t kill a bottle of bubbly, the VIP is a horrible value. The assholes don’t allow you to get VIP without the bottle factored in, even if you refuse it. The dancer I took back there did allow me to touch her ass and breasts, but the setup sucks. The only thing giving you privacy is a folding privacy screen, and there are cameras just feet above you. The madam running the VIP section walked in twice on us and ended the session short by six minutes, or 20% of the paid time. It was a rip-off.

Where this place really fails is that management is extremely strict. They run it too clean, and sterile clubs are no fun. I have never seen so many cameras rigged up in a single club in my entire strip clubbing career. The bouncers were patting guys down at the door. They have a “no cell phone” rule: you or dancers cannot take out your cell phone in the club for any reason. If you must use it, then you need to step out into the hallway leading into the club or you need to go to the washroom. I heard they don’t want guys taking pictures inside; but seriously, you’d need a flash to get a good picture, and setting off a flash in here would be retarded. They probably don’t want guys getting the dancers numbers. If you are caught using your cell phone, they give you a warning. If you are caught a second time, they confiscate your gadget. You can’t get any touching here until you are out two C-Notes in the VIP (and I might have been lucky to get a dancer that allowed me to grope). The bouncers all shaved their heads and acted like pricks. Another thing I did not like was the washroom door would swing all the way open when someone would come in or out of it. Everyone in the whole club could see you pissing inside the men’s room for a couple seconds.