Fuego is some $hit. Mostly skinny...

Fuego is some $hit. Mostly skinny flat back skeleton dancers who shouldn't be dancing anywhere. And the customers are mostly drunk illegal Mexicans who piss on the bathroom floor and pass out in the parking lot. So the story is, I decided to go to Fuego yesterday after I read prior reviews, got a thumbs up from one of my friends, and my favorite DC stripper told me about the place. She said the place is full of big booty Black girls and Spanish girls. This is not the case at all. The club is heavily Spanish and the booties are nonexistent. I came in there with $200 and left with $170. I didn't spend $hit. The only girl I danced with had a damn muscle booty like she was in the military or something. Granted her booty was shapely... but it was far too firm. Not soft or bouncy at all.

The BAD:

There are so many problems with the place it's pitiful. First off, the place does not make change. So if you come in there with a bunch of $20 bills you are out of luck. Second, the bathroom is HORRIBLE. Piss all over the floor and the door does not lock. Third, many of the strippers there do not speak English. I'd say 35% of the girls speak English and 65% don't. Fourth, the seating is horrible. The chairs are far to close together and the place gets crowded. So the lap dances are not that private for $10 per song. Fifth, the place has no air conditioning system. So do the math. A bunch of Mexicans crammed in a confined area plus no air conditioner equals a sauna. Sixth, the place does not serve food or even snacks for that matter. Seventh, cell phones are not allowed but I was able to sneak mines in anyway. I could go on, and on, and on... but I think you get the idea.