During the Holiday season I visited...

During the Holiday season I visited Mary's club while I was in Portland. The locals all raved about this place, but I really don't see why. It is a dark, dinky, depressing little dive bar in a lousy part of downtown. The bar can only about thirty patrons and everything is way over priced for what it is...a dive bar. The Men's bathroom is maybe 20 square feet and has not partitions, if you're sitting on the toilet you have no choice but to watch the guy at the urinal. While on the topic of the bathroom, the cheap-ass owner doesn't even spring for two-pky toilet paper. Yuck. If this club has one saving grace it would be the staff. They seemed super nice and helpful, which surprised me because they were all working in a shit hole.

As for the girls, they only have two or three girls working per shift, so if you're into variety you're shit out of luck. The girls seem to be hit or miss, depending on what's your thing. One of the dancers was this gorgeous black girl named Sandria. She was tall, had lots of tattoos an was in her mid-20s. She had amazing tits, a gorgeous face and a smoking hot body. However, when I got a lap dance from her, she didn't even so much as touch my knee. When I told her I didn't want another dance, she got pissy and stopped talking with me. The other girl was a really chubby broad with fake tits in her mid thirties named Satori. I have never met a more obnoxious and pretentious dancer in my life. She thought she was so cool and so smart. If she was smart she would've realized she lost her looks 5 years ago and she's working in a latrine.

Also, if you show up or stay after midnight, people outside will try to sell you crack. I will not be going back to Mary's, but if you're looking for crack in the Portland area it might be for you.