All I can say is that...

All I can say is that I’m crestfallen that Ivy is leaving. She has been my girl the past several times I’ve been to HSC, and when she told me she was quitting The Life for school in a couple months, it was as if I heard my grandmother died. In a club with permanent turnover, she has been the only mainstay, and her combination of attractiveness and dancing skills is, with no offense to the other positive qualities of the stripclub, the only reason I have come back. My dances with her the last time did not disappoint.

Everything else, thank Buddha, has stayed the same. While I don’t recognize any of the other dancers there, most of them are uniformly hot. The prices for drinks are expensive, yet normal for a strip joint. Pink neon still lights the walls. Porn still plays on the TV sets, though I’m glad they put up a huge (albeit old and very blurry) projection set right in front of the main stage for sports. Hollywood remains very popular; the last time I was there all the tables were taken and I had to sit on one of the couches, each time a different one because after I stood up to tip a dancer, it was taken. Having a good time is pricey; I was $242 lighter when I left, and the ATM fees at HSC is as sketchy as you think it would be, so stock up on singles before going in. But you will have a great time … provided you’re not black, of course.

And if you’re a fan of Ivy, go before she’s done. She has such a good head on her shoulders that I really think she means it when she says she’s going legit. I’ll be going back to ESL soon to say goodbye.