Bachelor parties beware Gentlemen who are charged...

Bachelor parties beware

Gentlemen who are charged with planning and executing a bachelor party in the vicinity of Savannah, GA, please do not make the same mistake I did. I sought out 2 private strippers to accompany the bachelor all night, and after placing some inquiries I received a call back from "Nikki," the manager of Temptations. The arrangements we agreed upon were for the Temptations "party bus" (I put that in quotes for a reason, hang in there) to pick up our party downtown with our 2 private strippers on board, transport us to Temptations for a few hours, then accompany us in a limo to whatever establishments the night brought us to, and return them to Temptations custody at 2am. The price: $1000, negotiated down from $1500. Pretty steep, but cheaper than the escort services offered and well worth it for what I saw as the single most worthwhile element of a bachelor party which already had everything else it needed to be successful, which is to say a solid group of high-testosterone guys who like to drink heavily and fight.

What could possibly go wrong with that equation, you ask? The night was as excellent as you would imagine, with one notable exception: the 2 "private strippers" ended up being the biggest waste of $1000 that could have possibly occurred, short of dumping the money in a pile, dousing it in lighter fluid, and setting it aflame. How could that be, you ask? If I wanted fully clothed women to ignore the bachelor all night without either stripping or dancing, ever, I could get that from the legions of non-strippers all over the world, without spending a dime. Paying an exorbitant amount of money for what the bachelor normally receives for free anywhere in society, stung a little bit. And lest you think this is some vengeful soliloquy composed out of spite rather than confronting the manager, let me assure you, she and I discussed at length exactly what did (and did not) occur at the bitter end of the night, once we had successfully lost several members of the party and just before the bachelor was medically unresponsive in the back of the limo. Nikki's response to everything I told her was to stand up for her employees as she should, albeit in full disregard of all cultural norms involving strippers-slash-escorts-slash-private dancers, and I could tell she looked at me as another drunken loser in the grips of a Four Loko coma who would forget about everything if and when he woke up from his next brief sleep cycle with a heart rate soaring at the brink of one or more arterial bursts. To which she was right, with the exception of the blackout-drunk part. I told her I knew she would not return ay money, nor did I expect her to as a rational businesswoman who had successfully reaped $1000 cash in a transaction from which I had no legal precedent to reclaim it. However, I informed her of my intentions, which was to write an online review to add to the 2 current dissertations on their Google site, consisting of "Nice T&A" and "Thanks for the information," which would hopefully cost her over $1000 in future business.