Not a good day at Dreamer's...

Not a good day at Dreamer's Girls. Three dancers on duty who wouldn't TOTAL a 4 if you added them all together. Although adding them all together would have totaled about 400 pounds. (One was a spinner, which tells you how big the other two were.) The spinner, who had danced for me before, would have been OK for a bar dance if she hadn't been so drunk she could barely walk or talk. She was also involved in some kind of drama outside the bar, and had to keep not only borrowing the bartender's cell phone but actually asking the bartender to do the dialing because she was so blitzed she couldn't punch in the numbers herself. That was kind of entertaining, but it wasn't the kind of entertainment I was there for.

Since I couldn't bear the thought of having any of the "dancers" give me a bar dance (I was afraid I'd either get crushed or puked/slobbered on), I asked the bartender - the little blond with the paunch who used to work at Centerfolds - if she was doing any dances that day. She said, "Whatever you want." I started a trend. None of the other three guys who were in there apparently wanted anything to do with the designated dancers, but once the bartender stripped down to panties and bra and got cozy with me, demand for dances suddenly went through the roof. That made the dancers mad, but that wasn't my problem or the other guys'. The bartender claimed to feel bad about it, but that didn't stop her. At least she was making some money, and she was the only one in the place who deserved to.

I've been to this place four times now, and each time, the dancing staff has been bigger and less attractive. This trip convinced me I should give the place a long rest from my business. If I'm back here before at least six months goes by, it will be because every other Akron strip joint has closed. I'd need to be that desperate.