I keep coming back to Bazooka's...

I keep coming back to Bazooka's in spite of everything. I've been a customer (and oftimes regular) since back when it was located at 34th & Main in the Dove Theater. There is no question that it really is the best club in Kansas City. The showroom is nicely laid out and well-kept. The restroom is usually clean and fresh. The stage show here is second to none. The stage is well-lit and the sound system reliable. The showgirls are all very attractive, and feature diverse ethnicities and body types. The staff is generally courteous and helpful. The club is just south of downtown in an up-and-coming area and I've never felt anything less than safe going to and from my car, which I always park in the lot right next to their building. So why only a rating of 7?

Bazooka's could be so much better. The admission fee is ridiculously high, and you really don't get much for your money. The stage show is great, but due to K.C. ordinances, there is no touching of the showgirls allowed on the couches on the back wall of the club, where lap dances are performed. Fortunately, they can touch you. For the hands-on experience, one must go 45 minutes west to Lawrence, Kansas (although Bonita Flats, a 25-minute drive south on I-35, is also a great place and a bargain, if you can find it). Unless Ron is on the microphone, the DJs can be pretty lame. Most nights the DJ announces a "couch dance only" song every half-hour, during which no one is on stage dancing and the ladies circulate through the room asking everyone for a dance. Now, I understand that the couch dances are how these women make their money, and I support that, but still, it gets old real fast when things come to a dead halt for 4 or 5 minutes every half hour and you're left sitting there in the semi-dark. I will decide when I want to go to the couches, thanks, and this constant pushing is annoying at best. Bazooka's brings in feature performers at least once a month, and I avoid these like the plague. They are invariably grotesque freak shows, and take time and money away from the regular roster of lovely women who work here. There is a 2-foot counter separating you from the tip rail (ordinances again). The chairs are lightweight metal, uncomfortable and easy to tip over (and make hellacious noise when they do). The servers who bring you your juice & soft drinks (no alchohol, sorry) are

uneven and lately, when I give them a 5-dollar bill to pay for a $3 showgirl drink, ask "Do you want change?" Do they really think they deserve a 66% tip? Last year they added a huge hard-plastic curtain that divides the club in half, presumably to keep it from looking empty on weeknights, but it feels claustrophobic and detracts from the club-going experience. They draw it back on Saturdays, and presumably whenever the place fills up. I could go on, and if you've been to clubs in other parts of the country, you'll know what I mean when I suggest that Bazooka's could be much improved.

All that said, I keep coming back to Bazooka's because of the Showgirls. As has been noted here before, some have Showgirl attitudes, but if one can develop relationships based on repeated visits, one can have a very good time indeed. Shall I name names? Very well, then: Annette. Shevaun. Julia. Paige. Star. Angel. Vanessa. Geena. Taylor. Other favorites have come and gone over the years, of course, but they are why I can be found at Bazooka's a couple of times a month.