I stopped into Bare Assets around...

I stopped into Bare Assets around 23:30 on a Tuesday evening. The outside of the building reminded me of the roadhouses that you see driving through the Texas Panhandle. Directly in the main door is the lobby where one pays cover: $7 on weekday evenings. To the left are the restrooms and to the right is the rest of the club. In the club, the main stage is built into the corner of the room and is right at floor level, which I am not used to. The pole on stage spins. Two countertops, which tippers can sit at, fence in the stage. Moving deeper into the club is a bar on the left and a runway lined with chairs on the right. The runway is used as an additional stage on weekends I was told. Topless dances are done in a semi-private room on a large U-shaped couch for $25 per song. Other couples may be getting lap dances at the same time in the room. Nude dances are done in semi-private booths for $40 per song. Both options are not worth the fee considering the songs are short. I did not see too many patrons getting private dances. The music is very loud here and the club is smoky; many of the dancers smoke. The crowd was made up of groups of fraternity boys, mixed group with horny women, white trash, ghetto trash, loners, and couples—a motley crew.

The dancers appeared to be above average for the most part, however, half were clearly in their thirties once I got a closer perusal of the talent. I did find two younger dancers to my liking: Mary Jane and another 22 year old. The highlight of my visit was watching the female patrons at this club. Some college-aged girls were bumping and grinding on each other to the music. Another pair of inebriated female patrons were making out and ripping each other’s clothes off. Some of the female patrons were better looking than a number of the dancers. Attention was being drawn away from the stage toward the no-tip-required show. My dancer girlfriend for the evening and myself saddled up into seats near where the lesbian action was unfolding to gawk. Management tried to put a stop to the crowd antics as it was taking away attention from the stage. I went to take a piss and there was a drunken girl coming out of a stall in the men’s washroom. This club closes down at 02:00 which is lame if you ask me. At about 01:45 the lights were turned on, dancers retreated to the dressing room, and the staff was trying to get everyone to leave. I had a fresh beer in my hand that I thought I’d have fifteen minutes to nurse, but instead I had to chug it and exit. I guess this place is afraid of being caught open a couple minutes after closing time. The early closing and high dance prices were cons, but I might give Bare Assets another try if I am in the area.