This is strickly a lap dance...

This is strickly a lap dance joint. I arrived about 9 or so in the evening. You have to pay a $5 cover to the night manager, who spent his evening regailing me with stories of his multiple DUI's, his current legal troubles, his day job, and his underage girlfriend. I mean, I realize I'm at a lapdance joint on a Tuesday night, so I'm not in the best position to pass judgement, but for cryin' out loud. There is no booze or beer, only overpriced soft drinks and water. There is a small stage but none of the dancers used it. There were 4 dancers on shift when I was there. I was told there were usually more, let's hope so. Here's the line up:

Dancer #1: Eager, friendly, short, and slightly overweight. The weight problem may be because her AARP card may entitle her to some pretty sweet discounts at Burger King.

Dancer #2: Can't say too much, since she didn't speak to anyone while I was there. I certainly can not give an opion on the quality of her ass, since it never left the barstool it was sitting on. Remember, there is no liquor in the joint, so I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe some one pulled a prank on her and glued her XL BVD's to that stool, accounting for her mobility problems and her generally sour demeanor.