Do you remember the best lap...

Do you remember the best lap dance you ever had? I can’t pick a best, but it’s so easy to remember all the ones in the running: Eva, the beautiful and gentle blonde at Bare Elegance in Inglewood, Calif.; Spice, the hot babe at Anthony’s Showplace in Nashville who made me cum getting a lapper for the first time; Zoe, the now-retired Twin Cities chick who was the first woman I ever had the pleasure of finger-banging, and in two different clubs; Opal, the first girl to reach into my pants and give me a handjob, in Hawaii; and the first time I ever got my dick sucked, courtesy of Kimberly, the East St. Louis white girl. Well, another stripper rode me last year into my Lap Dance Hall of Fame.

And surprisingly, it’s my go-to girl at Hollywood Show Club. She always lets me grab her tits, and she always sucks my nipples with glee, the only chick I know who’ll do so. But I was not prepared for what she was going to do to me this time around. And boy, benedictions like this are signs there is a God.

HSC is always busy on a Saturday night. Either because of this, the fact that you need a miner’s light to see through the club or, well, my ATF is not quite there, she didn’t see me till I stepped up to her stage and laid two dollars down, and even then, she acted like my face was vaguely familiar. I still don’t think she knows my name, but for all the grindage she’s given me, I don’t give a shit.