All of a sudden, I’m going...

All of a sudden, I’m going to Schieks as much as I am to any other club. Not that it’s a bad thing. I went there Thanksgiving because, once again, it’s the only boobie bar that was open that night. And it still has that same grand panache it’s always had: It’s huge, there are a lot of wood furnishings everywhere, and the strippers are not wearing trashy lingerie or obvious stripper clothing.

My years-old pass got me free entry. There were a couple of pathetic losers milling around and this large group of Asians held court at this table right in front of the huge stage, but that was it when it came to customers; I’m pretty sure those working there outnumbered us.

No one was sitting alongside the stage. The chairs there are really low (and they have rollers too, which sucks because they have a tendency to slide very easily), and the stage is somewhat higher than you’d think it’d be, so the girl is towering over you when she dances for you. This is deliberate, I believe; this is a gown club, therefore touching is strictly prohibited, at least at the stage. You have to get up off your chair to give the girl your tip, and Schieks is the kind of place where you can slide it into her garter belt – you get the illusion of physical intimacy, but that is all you’ll get.