I took a short tour of...

I took a short tour of the Providence strip club scene the night before Vet’s Day. With the holiday I figured the clubs would be hopping, but things were quiet. I arrive at the infamous Foxy Lady first that afternoon. No free VIP pass as promised on their website, but the club seemed pleasant enough. The club has three stages on the upper level with private areas for lap dances. Most of the dancers were attractive, and many were surgically enhanced. Although the club advertises its top level as topless only a couple of the girls did remove their G-strings. The waitresses wear white lingerie, and many of them were better looking than the dancers. I also had a massage from a girl named Jennifer. It was $10 for a two-song massage that was better than most of the professional massages I’ve had. A bargain.

So why the “6” rating?

The massage was the only bargain in the place. It seemed I was almost constantly being hit up for money, either for drinks or dances. Apparently they have to pay for the gowns and tuxedos, and it grew tiresome very quickly. About once an hour they do a 2-for-1 deal where dancers parade around the stage then immediately hit up the customers for dances. It’s $40 for two songs, and the dances aren’t much of an improvement over the Massachusetts “air dances.” I’m wondering if the bouncer hovering around the lap dance area was getting in the way of the fun. The “gold club” nude area downstairs was dead. About six bored-looking dancers and no nudity anywhere. I left in a hurry.