MMF2019

I figured that I was in the area after hanging out with a friend that I'd actually give this joint a try. I've lived in this area all my life and NEVER once set foot in the place. Here goes nothing... While the building itself looks big on the outside, the interior is supremely cramped while not providing much indication of what is where. Immediately when you step in is the guy collecting money and security (security guy was a good dude, super laid back but definitely asserted himself when needed). The DJ booth was to the left. The lap dance/private dance rooms were to the left as well, but didn't show itself as such. The stage was...super small and positioned in the middle of the place with the bar (where most of the dancers sat for a majority of the time that I was there) awkwardly placed to the left. There's couches along the wall and seats pushed in front of the stage. It's BYOB andthis just seemed like a poor layout. Made for awkward flow to even get situated. It was a Friday night, so the few guys in there skewed younger with some exceptions (present company included). The women were, with the exception of 3, were Latina which, I had zero issues with. All different shapely shapes and sizes. Again, skewing younger, aside from an older one here and there (I tend to gravitate to the older performers...in the words if Floyd Gondolli in "Boogie Nights": "I like simple pleasures like butter in my ass, lollipops in my mouth. That's just me. That's just something that I enjoy."). Oddly enough: no dollar parade (not enough space for it). 2 dancers on the stage at a time. Beyond that, your typical environment of talking amongst themselves and circles of doom scrolling on the phone. I did interact with a couple ladies, trying to get a feel of what tickled my fancy. I'll take a different route to describe some of the women I interacted with and then get to reason for the title of this review. I encountered a younger Dominican woman initiated conversation and...immediately started selling dances (🙄). After politely declining, I did chat with an attractive Cuban girl. I did get a lap dance with her ($40), but it was super mechanical and her body was disappointing to the touch (another cemented BBL). An older Dominican woman had potential, another decent looking Cuban and a white spinner at the end of the night. I run down the women first because there are features and benefits that readers inquire. I'm a "skip the labor pains, give me the baby" type of guy and the menu was consistent in terms of offerings and tributes to Billy Joel and Frank Sinatra. The damage? On the low end for a cover of the Piano Man? $250. One quoted $400. For a rendition from Old Blue Eyes? $600 which, by the way, was with the private room for $140...for 15 minutes and $240 for a half hour. I had to explain to one of the ladies what Sticker Shock meant. Far be it for me to rain on someone's parade for wanting to make a buck. But...read the room. This is where low expectations make for the conscious decision to exit stage left...all the way even. This will probably not be in the rotation of places to frequent in the future, near or distant.

Was coming back from a trip and landing in PHL, so since I was going to be in the area, I figured that I would see what the place was all about. It was only about a 15 minute jaunt from the airport. I DID make the mistake of making a detour at Cheerleaders since it was down the road, but that was a quick pop in and out due it being VERY dead (not their fault, it was in the early afternoon, but nonetheless...). I turned around and got to Carnival. Outside of the sign on 130, pretty nondescript building (albeit large), could be a smidgen confusing finding your way inside the place, but I managed. Once inside, you're greeted by a...mannequin...because it's an adult store (I mean, it's not that serious, but you are). There is a sign, however with an arrow pointing to the left that says "GIRLS", so there's no mistake in where you have to go. I hook the left and enter an old time-y booth environment with a dude who has ZERO desire to be there (I mean, can't blame him, but there are worse things that someone could be doing for a living). Since this was my first time there (tip of the cap to y'all for the last reviews plus...I like to dabble...), it was an awkward start not understanding the rules of the road. But when I first got there, 3 women populated these booths: 2 women of color and a petite spinner that KINDA caught my attention. After some admitted awkwardness in navigating the place, I was told to make my way around, put a dollar in a machine and the frosted window clears up and you have a minute to chat someone up and decide if you want to rendezvous. It definitely had some prison vibes because of the old school phone and talking through the window. I mean, the only thing that was missing was me putting my hand on the window and the woman screaming "OH BILLY!" like it was Midnight Express. I chat the spinner up, but wasn't feeling it and was actually going to make my way out until a chubby-ish thing came walking by and...I was intrigued. Put my dollar in, agreed that we were each other's type and that we should have some fun. Very cute in the face (she lives in MD, inquire within for specifics), though. I pay the good man the $60 and we make our way to the room where she lays out the ground rules. Starts with rate for a Frank Sinatra tribute show for 20 minutes ($140) and I was cool with it. A fine time was had. An enthusiastic performer she was and I left acknowledging that I could certainly make my way back. For a long post, 1st time awkwardness aside navigating the joint, pretty efficient experience. NOT A STRIP CLUB. And given the limited options at a given time, it's hit or miss. Subjectively, my type crossed my path as I was heading out the door. Wishing y'all a Happy and a Merry! Salute y'all! 🫡

I've been to this spot a few times and it still boggles my mind how nestled away in the town it is (especially when you have to travel through a little town called Zarephath...look it up. The irony of traveling through to get to your destination is just dripping!) Anywho, back to the review... I got there on Friday night at around 9:30 in the evening and, again, just nestled away in a residential area unassuming and not disruptive. You walk through the double doors, walk up a couple steps, pay your $25 cover, get banded and your bottled water and hook a right into the main club. It's the typical rectangular layout with the catwalk in the middle with poles on each end. There's a bar to your left, but it's not like it's ever occupied. It was rather barren with, myself included, 5 patrons scattered around the place. I was there for someone I have been regularly seeing, but she wasn't there. Welp! Time to see the other options. There were two Hispanic women, a spinner-type, 2 Black women (1 of whom NEVER got up from her chair the entire time I was there). When I was getting settled in, there was a young thick girl dancing on stage and I decided to check her out. She was easy to talk to, laid back and let me know the lay of the land. I will say, based on my experiences, it's high mileage. She let me know what the drill is ($125 for 15 minute VIP and $100 for company...). Definitely was not mad. I'm pretty confident that you will get bang for your buck (especially compared to its sister location in Toms River). Efficient time if you want to make it that way or if you want to make it worth your time and chat up your particular choice. It will stay a part of my rotation. 🫡 Salute y'all!