my weekend is over and it was friggin awesome

avatar for definitelynotgreenvegas
definitelynotgreenvegas
Well I checked my inbox all weekend from my prepaid and to my surprise I had zero applicants as a wingman. So I did the normal....rolled out solo. I fired up the scooter and started at nepals. Remember I was kicked out of here and my membership was revoked. Its private but you can get in with a local hotel key. Anyway, I went to the local motel where whores work and rented a room for an hour. By the time I drank 12 pbr's the hour was up and I had to buy another hour. Anyway I totally disguised myself because that asshole front door bouncer knows me well. I rented a tuxedo for my disguise. Baby blue of course. I went and got a wig from the wig shop that looked like eric estrada from chips. Man I was looking good. I put on my fake moustache which made me look like a porn star/rapist so I started to take it off but the glue had set. Oh well. So I roll up to nepals looking like a fuckjing mexican at his senior prom but I knew the ladies would dig it. The doorman looked closely and asked me to take off my aviator shades. I did. I also made a fake unibrow from an old stache so it would conceal my eyes. He gazed at me and I just stared back. Whipped out my key from the thunderbird lodge and I was in like flynn. I sat at the tip rail ready to pounce. I felt like a lion in the african plains waiting on his prey. First girl comes out and crawls toward me. Here we go. Showtime. I whipped out a crisp dollar bill and said "there's about 9 more where this came from". She laughed and moved on. Who knows. Anyway I sat at the stage for a record 12 hours. I tipped a few girl 50 cent pieces and the hot one a bill. It was late and my corndog was needing some attention so I asked "lexus" for a dance in the vip. She gave me 4 songs in a row. I thrusted my pelvic region into hers and she kept saying "uh gross". Yeah right. Anyway she was done and I paid her 10 bucks. She said I owed 80. What? Yeah right I only asked for one. I was in a tight spot. My moustache was hanging halfway off from her tits in my face and my cover was close to blown. I had to move. Fuck it I had to run out. I'm moving through the club like barry sanders in 1994. I was golden. Then it all crashed down. Kevin the bouncer blindsides me. I'm down. Code 4 pimp down. My 50 cent pieces flew everywhere. My scoooter keys slid on the floor. This son bitch has me in the fucking boston crab and I'm tappin. Greenvegas county rolls up and impounded my scoot. I'm in the squad car. They found my ghb and arrested me like a common criminal. Judyjudy bailed me out and I'm at her place now. Excuse me guys she's about to work a 3 song set right now. Until we meet again

Greenvegas (def not)

Losers!

4 comments

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avatar for hohawk69
hohawk69
15 years ago
"Like Barry Sanders in 1994"...God Damn that made me laugh! Great story.
avatar for definitelynotgreenvegas
Judyjudy can't log on right now she's blowin me
avatar for definitelynotgreenvegas
You're talking to a semi pro dancer and a tuscl hall of famer. Put a fucking sir on that asshole.
avatar for Dougster
Dougster
15 years ago
Hey, faggot! Ever heard of paragraphs?
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