“Do you want a private dance?” I've been asked this question thousands of times over my 30+ years of visiting strip clubs. I've said "no" a lot more often than "yes", but have said "yes" plenty. Some of the “yeses” have been good decisions, even mind-blowing experiences in a few cases. But some of the “yeses” were bad decisions and I knew it immediately even before we reached the private rooms. This article describes my personal guideline on when to for say “yes”. Some of my guiding principles are universal and would apply to any stripper or club. And some of these guidelines are aligned with the particular type of dancer or private dance that appeals to me.
First off, I only go to all nude clubs. I am obsessed with pussy and love to see it. I dislike clubs that advertise as nude and have dancers that don’t disrobe completely whether on stage or in the private rooms. While I do indulge in extras on occasion, it is not my preferred thing. So the level of privacy that the room provides is typically not a concern for me. What I want in the private room is a show. I want the dancer to disrobe immediately. This is not the stage where the level of nudity is based on tips. We’ve already agreed to a nude dance including the cost. Get to it. And the shoes come off too.
As for dancers, fat is a tremendous turn-off for me. I am disturbed by cellulite, but also dislike when fat rolls are squeezed out on either side of bra or bikini straps. Big boobs are not my thing though big natural boobs are better than bolt-ons. What I love is a tight stomach, toned back and legs with some muscular definition. If a club has a former athlete on the roster, I am likely to seek her out. Spinners often meet these criteria but I prefer girls that are tall and skinny. Tattoos, especially large ones, are also a turn-off. My ideal dancer may sound like a unicorn, but most clubs have a few girls working each night that meet my specs. Finding my ideal girl has become more and more difficult though. Back in the 90’s you had to have a dancer’s body to work in a strip club. Unfortunately, strip club standards have slipped.
One of my strip club pet peeves is under-illuminated private rooms. Too often these spaces are so dark you can't make out the stripper's facial expressions let alone her juicy bits. Obviously you can't know the private room situation until you've completed your first private dance, so my guidance is to make that first dance a low investment risk. Find out what the minimum cost and duration is from your ideal girl, vet her for the issues I describe below, and take her up on her offer. Make sure she has already agreed to a fully nude dance (this should NEVER be negotiated in the back), and ask for a room with good lighting. If she takes you to a dark room, ask for another option. And the lighting needs to illuminate the girl and not you.
Because most girls are self-conscious about their bodies, especially their pussies, it is a good idea to flatter them plenty before the first dance. Compliments still go a long way, and I try to go beyond the physical and sexual. If I am drawn to a girl’s eyes or smile, I tell them. If a dancer has the body type I described above, I tell them they have a beautiful back, legs, or arms. And if they have small, natural breasts (my preference), I tell them sometimes in an over-the-top way that their breasts are perfect (girls with small boobs seem to think every male loves big, fat titties). And I like to tell dancers, “I bet you have a pretty pussy.” This establishes my particular interest which many dancers will play to during the private show. Ideally a dancer will latch on to my pussy interest and we’ll have a conversation about it. We may talk about her lovely pussy, pussy variations, shaving habits, piercings (not my thing) or even smell and taste. If a dancer is comfortable talking about pussy, she is more likely to show hers off.
Which brings me to attitude. If a dancer is prudish and is somehow put off by my desire to talk about pussy, she is not a candidate for my ideal private dance. To my bewilderment, this does happen occasionally. The cognitive disconnect between working at a nude strip club and thinking the patrons are not interested in pussy probably means the dancer has other cognitive challenges and is to be avoided. Another attitude check is whether the girl smiles naturally and warmly. You know it when you see it. If the barrage of compliments does not elicit a single, genuine smile, move on and fast. It is good to engage the girl for a while before the private dance. If the girl is unwilling to talk and instead just pushes for the private dance, politely decline. 99% of the time the pushy dancers will get mad or ask for a tip, immediately validating your decision.
To confirm that the dancer meets your ideal body type, it is best to see them perform on stage first. Here are a few things I look for during the performance. Do they appear to be having fun? Mopey dancers are not going to cheer up in a private room. Are the breasts real? In addition to the tell-tell scar, do the breasts move naturally or do they seem like structures that could withstand the most violent demolition attempt? You can also spot all the tasteless, and oversized tattoos. If you are approached by a dancer before you see her perform, be mindful of structural bras. Natural boobs and bolt-ons do not need wires and plastic cups. Saggy boobs do.
Never agree to a dance when first asked. Not only do you come across as a sucker, but the dancer’s walk-away provides an important data-gathering opportunity. Often I have become enamored with a dancer because of her charm, her face, or her smile only to lose interest when she walks away to reveal a huge ass or chunky thighs that I know will be a turnoff later. Also be leery of girls wearing a drape around their waists or seem to be covering extensive parts of their bodies with clothing. They are likely hiding something.
And finally, observe other clues. Smart girls also tend to be sexier in my experience. If they can hold a conversation, beyond talking about pussies, it is a good sign. Did the dancer do something interesting with her hair or outfit? If so, tell her you appreciate it. Has she applied an excessive amount of make-up maybe to conceal something beyond her age? Does she smell good? I have never enjoyed a private dance, no matter how hot the dancer looks, if she has BO or bad breath. And guys, as a show of respect to the dancers, you should dress nice and smell good too. You will get better treatment if you do.
In summary, being picky, patient, and nice will pay off. Being generous also helps. I have never regretting giving extra tips to the dancers that provide a good show in the end. Picky, patient, nice and generous. Picky, patient, nice and generous. Picky, patient, nice and generous. If I could only follow my own advice. Headed to a club now…
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