Hong Kong for Beginners

This was my second foray into Tijuana. The first was in November 2014 when I crossed the border and hit Hong Kong three days out of the four that I was in San Diego. I learned a lot back then (with advice from TUSCL contributors), and I’m still learning. There have been other, very helpful posts on TUSCL, and my intent with this long-ass article is to add details that I think would also prove helpful to anyone who has not yet made the journey and is contemplating it. And yeah, ya should. The place is just unreal.

Planning for this trip started a few months ago. I had to be in Orange County for a conference, so my flight to California from the East Coast was covered by my employer. I went out a few days early, rented a car, and drove the 90 minutes south to the border.

The first thing I will tell you is that instead of staying in San Diego (as I did for visiting family during the last trip), I booked a room in San Ysidro, California, the town where the border crossing is. TUSCL trolls, don’t give me any shit for not actually staying in TJ. For a number of reasons, staying in the U.S. allows me to cover my ass and gives me a little plausible deniability with the wife back home. (Just trying to avoid the inevitable “Honey, when you called me three of the nights you were gone, how come there are roaming charges from Mexico on our cell phone bill?”) As I said, don’t give me any shit! A guy does what he has to do to preserve domestic tranquility.

BORDER CROSSING INTO MEXICO

There are things about the border crossing that have changed since I was here in 2014, and things will continue to change. The old crossing still works pretty much the same way as before, and you can travel south into Mexico and north into the U.S. there. There is a brand new crossing about a mile to the west, but it’s my understanding that for now you can only cross there from Mexico into the U.S. I read that that will change sometime soon, and eventually the old crossing will be torn down.

Not sure about parking at the new crossing; I think it might be $8.00 during the week and $25.00 on the weekend. I stuck with the old crossing and parked in the lot next to and behind the Jack-in-the-Box. The pay lot is open 24 hours, $8.00 for 8 hours, cash only. If you return even one minute after your 8 hours are up, you will pay another $8.00, so keep that in mind. It’s a short walk from there to the border crossing – just follow the crowd.

I had heard they were stamping passports going into Mexico now, and to avoid that (plausible deniability and all) – and based on advice here on TUSCL – I had gotten a Global Entry pass several months ago. It also allows you to skip the long lines coming back and provides automatic TSA Pre-Check whenever you fly. Worked like a charm coming back. Going into Mexico the first two days, I was not stopped by anyone nor required to show anything. HOWEVER, on the third day going into Mexico, I was asked by the Mexican Border Patrol agent to show my passport – which I did not have with me. I showed him my Global Entry card, which he said is only good for getting back into the U.S. He said, “You have to have a passport.” WTF – no one said a word to me the prior two days. After a brief moment of unease on my part, he let me in and said, “Next time, bring your passport.” Phew! Still not sure about the stamping of passports. Note that if you bring anything into Mexico with you (I carried a small messenger bag), they run it through a scanner like at an airport, but getting in is really easy.

The rest of the route to HK has been well documented on TUSCL. Walk along with the crowd for a few minutes, grab a Yellow Cab, and say, “Hong Kong, cinco, si?” (they always said yes to me). Incidentally, Tijuana taxis are a trip in and of themselves, as the drivers race to get you to your destination, and whatever rules of the road they have there seem more like mere suggestions. After five minutes, $5.00 (US) and a dollar tip, you’re there. The Yellow Cabs have to stop in front of Adelita Bar a couple of doors down from HK; there is another cab company that gets to park in front of HK. No biggie. Just walk back to HK.

MONEY

All transactions can be made in US dollars. Others here have recommended changing to pesos to get a better deal (depending on the prevailing exchange rate), but I did not bother with that. Not saying you shouldn’t use pesos – just saying you don’t have to. And you all know you never use a credit card in a strip club, right?

HOTEL CASCADAS

Before I left I had PM’ed a fellow TUSCL contributor about advice on a few things, and he suggested that even though I was staying overnight in San Ysidro I might want to book a room at Hotel Cascadas, which occupies about six floors above Hong Kong. He pointed out that the rooms are really cheap if you spring for a VIP card at HK (more on that in a moment), and if you plan take girls upstairs several times over two or three days (or multiple times each day/night, like I did), the card pretty quickly pays for itself. In addition, there’s no knock at the door when your 30 minutes are up.

I made a reservation the week before for three nights via the hotel’s website (which is reachable from the HK website). They don’t require a credit card number for the reservation, but they do ask for an email address to send you a confirmation. I registered using a fake name (but a real email address) based on TUSCL advice about using a fake name when you get the VIP card. I used the same alias for both the hotel reservation and the card. Believe me, nobody cared or asked.

When you make the reservation online, the website will tell you what your total will be, based on the rack rate of $55 a night for a standard room Sunday-Thursday, $70 Friday and Saturday – and says that discounts will be applied upon check-in. When you arrive, first go to HK to get your VIP card and then check into the hotel next door (literally two steps from the HK entrance). I was so fortunate that my TJ trip included a Monday and a Tuesday, since the VIP discount on those two days is a whopping 80%, bringing the cost of the room down to $11 a night. When you consider that if you don’t have your own room and you want to take a girl upstairs, it will cost you $17 per half hour (and double that if you take two girls at a time, which I did on my last visit). The discount on other nights is 20%, bringing the cost down to $44 – which is still not too bad, especially if you plan to use the room for multiple visits. All transactions are done in cash, with US dollars or, if you prefer, pesos.

The standard room has a sink, bed, enclosed toilet, separate shower, and decent variable “mood” lighting. Perfect, really. (Deluxe rooms are also available at a higher rate.) I paid a $20 fully-refundable deposit for a remote for the AC. There was also a TV, but I did not use it. Over three days, I don’t think they serviced the room in any way, but they did promptly honor my request for clean towels on day three.

THE VIP CARD

You can look on the HK website for a list of the perks you get when you buy a VIP card. I didn’t avail myself of all that much (didn’t use the free limo to and from the border, no fancy bottle service, etc.) but it’s pretty easy to get your money’s worth, especially if you stay at the hotel on a Monday and/or a Tuesday. You go right to the desk on the left as you enter HK, tell them you want a VIP card, and give them $50. They will ask your name (whatever you choose to give them), enter that into the computer, mark your expiration date on your card with a Sharpie (it’s good for four months), and you’re good to go.

The tricky part about using the card is that if you want, say, your free drink, you have to go to the front desk and tell them you want a free drink. They log that in their system showing that you’ve now requested that for the day (you only get one per visit) and give you a receipt to give to any bartender or waiter (mesero). I guess that’s OK, but if you’re sitting in a booth with a chica bonita and you decide you want to take her for your half-price lap dance, you just can’t take her to the lap dance room – you have to go back to the desk at the entrance where they go through the same routine of logging you in and giving you a receipt (and taking your $11, which is half the standard $22 price). This actually takes a few minutes, so you might think about doing that in advance if you really think you’ll get a lap dance. You definitely can do it on the spur of the moment, but there will be a few minutes of wood-killing procedural folderol.

HK COUPONS

There are some useful coupons which you can print out from the HK website for different things like, for example, one free appetizer or lap dance. You redeem them at the desk at the entrance to HK. They nominally keep track, asking for your email address (you can make that up if you want; I did and it was not a problem), which you write on the back of the coupon. They then staple a receipt to your coupon which you can then give to one of the meseros to use. You can’t use them in combination with your VIP card, and they’re only supposed to be good once during your day/night visit, but if you’re cagey (and if there’s a different person at the desk when you go back), you can get away using more than one.

MESEROS

People here on TUSCL sometimes complain about the meseros (waiters) because they are omni-present, but I thought they were great pretty much across the board. They all speak English, which can be very helpful, and they are genuinely interested in making sure you have a good experience at HK. Yes, that means more tips for them, but they are all pleasant and eager to please. Not one shorted me on change nor automatically “kept” the tip. If you speak no Spanish, you would do well to befriend a mesero.

GENERAL VIBE IN THE CLUB

Even though you may be entering what many would consider to be a legal bordello, this is not a sleazy place – far from it. HK is very nicely-appointed, easily rivaling many of the upscale clubs in the U.S. The lighting is great throughout, as are the stages and the available seating. Even when it’s not super-crowded, there’s a fun vibe. The girls are pretty much all in the 7-9 range, with something for everyone in terms of tall, short, thick or thin (though not a lot of ethnic diversity). . It’s my understanding that the girls all have to get health-tested regularly to work there, and from a personal hygiene standpoint (based on close personal contact with dozens of them), they are generally much cleaner than a lot of American strippers are. And gorgeous.

Every girl I talked to was from somewhere other than Tijuana – Mexico City, Guadalajara, Monterrey, Jalisco, Sinaloa, etc. They come and stay a week or two, make a ton of money (more than what they can make at home), and then go back to their lives and families. It’s very rare to find any who are fluent in English. Most speak a little English; a few speak virtually none. My Spanish skills are rudimentary, at best, and I had my best times with those who knew a few words of English and/or were patient with my lousy Spanglish. I found that one of the most useful phrases is “Como se dice...” [co-mo say dee-say], which means “How do you say...?” which shows you are at least making an attempt.

GETTING THE MOST FOR YOUR MONEY

First of all, compared to what you have to pay in U.S. clubs, it’s just dirt cheap here, and you can have a good time for even just a fistful of dollars. A single U.S. dollar bill will give you a chance to fondle any girl’s boobs – and probably her pussy as well. For the price of a girl’s drink – $9.00, plus a $1.00 tip – you can have a girl sit with you in a booth while you explore each others’ charms. It’s pretty much a given in this situation that breasts will be bared – and maybe more – and touching is the norm. Yes, some of the girls will down their drinks quickly and move on, but they really have an incentive to stay and do what they can to convince you to take them upstairs. Most are quite friendly and accommodating.

If you’re not quite ready to commit to going upstairs, you can get a lap dance (for $22), which is done in a private room with frosted glass. As I mentioned above, free or half-price lap dances are available with the VIP card or a coupon from the website. I did a couple of those, and with one girl I got a CBJ for an additional $20.

Prices quoted to me for going upstairs (arriba) ranged from $60 to $100. The going quoted rate seemed to be $80; some settled for $60, others held firm at $80. The one girl who quoted me $100 quickly came down to $80. This is basically for 30 minutes in a room at the Hotel Cascadas (see above). Though I know the price of the room can vary, I think it’s basically about $17 for 30 minutes. Once you and the girl settle on a price for her time, you go to the door of HK (either the front door or the back door), the girl is given a robe by the door guy (for which you tip $1.00), and you go to the hotel desk on the second floor. You pay the $17, they give the girl a condom and some lube, and you’re on your way. I will leave the rest up to your imagination.

No matter where I was in the club or the hotel, I never felt that anyone was out to cheat me or ROB me. All transactions were on the up-and-up. Everyone treated me with kindness and respect.

GENERAL VIBE ON THE STREET

I was aware, based on recent TUSCL postings, that there has been some violence on the street around HK, but unless you’re drunk and/or stupid (or both) and you keep your wits about you, you should be OK. I was on the street both day and night and never felt threatened. At night, the street (at least the block with HK and Adelita Bar) is so well lit that it’s almost like daylight. I saw LOTS and LOTS of street girls hanging out – they are everywhere. I did not interact with any of them on this trip, and other TUSCLers have described that scene more knowledgeably than I ever could. I will say only that the opportunity to engage with them is ever-present.

BORDER CROSSING INTO THE UNITED STATES

Cabs are always parked outside HK; the ride back to the border is $5.00 (plus a $1.00 tip). Just be sure to specify whether you want to be dropped at the old border (vieja frontera) or the new border (nueva frontera). In my experience, the cab drivers all speak English, or at least enough to get you where you need to go. They will drop you off for the (hopefully) short walk to the border crossing station.

Others here have talked about what times are best and worst to try to make the crossing. If you cross on a weekend afternoon, you may wait in line for three to four hours! I crossed at the old border station either early or late evening and there was no line at all. I would guess that much of the foot traffic has migrated to the new crossing. I also was equipped with my Global Entry pass, which saved me a little time, but really, at that time of day there were so few people it didn’t make much difference.

You have to stop and talk to a U.S. Border Patrol agent, who will ask you one or more questions, but it’s really no big deal. One asked me where I had been and didn’t blink when I said La Zona Norte. I think I was always asked where I was going; I said I had a hotel room in San Ysidro. All asked if I had anything to declare (that’s the one required question), and since I hadn’t bought anything other than great memories, my answer was always no and I was waved through. It should go without saying that you should not try to bring any drugs with you – in either direction. I am not sure of the likelihood of getting caught, but I am certain that the consequences would not be favorable.

Well, I hope that this has been helpful to you. There are plenty of TUSCLers who are more experienced at this than I am, and I expect that some will post additions, corrections or clarifications to what I’ve written. I welcome that. And I strongly encourage anyone who has not yet made the trip to do so – before Donald Trump builds that wall!