FYEO Old Street

For Your Eyes Only isn't just a Bond film, it's now one of the greatest strip clubs in London! Opening from Monday to Friday in order to catch the city types.

THE OUTSIDE:

Location - just down the road from Travel Lodge (for those coming from out of town) and 3-5 min walk from Old Street station.

Entrance - On a main road, but the road itself is not usually that busy (so don't worry about being spotted!). There is an ATM 1 min walk away which is great because 15% extra is charged to credit cards used in the club.

Entrance fee - £20 cover charge, but on occasion when they have theme nights, vouchers are given out for free entry. Lady on the till once had the cheek to ask for a tip but entry to the place is not that difficult (provided of course that you haven't turned up legless!).

There is a cloak room on your immediate left once you are down the spiral staircase and a bar up ahead. Toilets are clean and there is an attendant who will sell you breath mints, lollipops and aftershave.

If you just want to drink by the bar and to take the scene in, unfortunately you can be approached (unlike some clubs where it is only allowed when you sit down). The side of the bar closer to the cloakroom seems to be a no go zone for the ladies but due to the height of the bar you can't see anything.

THE INSIDE:

Ladies:

Stage shows constantly. Each lady performs for 2 tracks, at the end of the first she removes her top. Body shape and looks wise they can vary quite a lot (which of course means that more tastes can be satisfied). Faces 6-9 and bodies 6-9.

Friday nights from about 10pm is when the club is busiest (30+ women dancing), though I have been there on a Wednesday when 20+ are working and there were NO other punters!

£20 for a private dance: There are several places in the club where this can happen, an open room which could house about 7-8 dancers (I would avoid, it feels just a little bit too exposed - and the bouncers that wander the area are a bit too frequent - more on that later). Much better are the booth rooms, which are in 3 sets each containing 8 booths. I would advise if you are being led to the open room that you firmly (but politely) ask for the booths. There is a fourth booth room further into the club past the stage but I was told by a dancer here that they are no longer used as some girls were caught giving blowjobs and having sex with customers in them.

The variety of ladies on the 5(!) occasions that I have visited has been great. Running the gamut of Polish, Lithuanian, Latvian, Russian, English, Welsh, Romanian, Ghanian, Bajian (from Barbados) and Jamaican.

The ladies were always polite if rebuffed, and if you want to guarantee that they leave you alone just listen out for the girl on the stage's name and say that you are waiting for her (be careful of course, as if they are her friend she'll probably be on her way to you after the stage show is done!).

Drinks, as with most clubs, are expensive with prices being around £15 for spirits with a mixer and £7 for beer. Champagne is overpriced, don't bother. A particular annoyance are the waitresses who will move you away from the center tables if you aren't buying an expensive drink, claiming that the table is reserved (don't expect any change from them as well). I remember going there with a mate, the place was completely dead and yet we were still told this bollocks!

VIP dances start at £150 for 30mins and are also not worth it, it is just a dance in a slightly brighter room. It's actually cheaper to just keep going for £20 dances instead.

Private dance quality varies, but 90% include bending over to see, sitting across you legs and (once you've spent about £60 or so) grinding in your lap. There can be some one way contact, and much more rarely two way but I wouldn't go in expecting that. Though on one occasion I did decline an offer of a blowjob by a thai stripper who worked there!

Best dancers: Pearl - Caucasian, brunette, petite, wicked smile and great conversation.

Lauren - Black, tall, toned is really hot!

Paris - Mixed race (East Asian and Caucasian), could be a fitness model, is a perfect 10.

Bouncers:

The only reason why the club does not have a higher rating. They walk past far, far too frequently when you have a private dance. Some are obviously just perving and getting a free show and it can be really off putting to have some lunk standing just outside your booth when you are getting a great dance from a sexy woman!

Overall:

8/10 recommended; whether you prefer the boisterous Friday night vibe or a quieter Wednesday. The ladies are on the whole good looking, the music is mostly electronic (I was told that the owner doesn't like hiphop as he finds it "sexist" - this guy needs a sense of irony!) and the venue is clean. Bear in mind though that this club is in the city and as the area is completely dead over the weekend the club is shut on Saturday and Sunday.