America's Top Sexy / Kinkiest Cities ... Do You Live In One?

Lots of qualities might make a city kinky: strip clubs per capita, average sexual satisfaction, or even a lack of anything better to do. Take a look at five American cities that, asAlterNet.org writes, “can definitely show you a good time.”

Roselawn, Ind: Home to family-friendly nudist resort Ponderosa Sun Club, where activities range from comparatively G-rated stuff like naked chili cookoffs to its annual “Nudes-A-Poppin'” porn star pageant.

New Orleans: In addition to Mardi Gras debauchery, the Big Easy hosts a 300,000-strong week-long party known as Gay Mardi Gras.

Las Vegas: Come on, the place is called Sin City. If you're looking for swingers clubs, fetish balls, dungeon parties, or the like, Vegas has you covered.

Hurley, Wis.: It may sound like Nowheresville, but it was once famous for rejecting Prohibition. Today, there are six strip clubs and only 1,547 residents—one for every 238 people!

Atlanta: Only in Hotlanta can you watch a porno in a public movie theater, visit an all-nude male stripclub, and get a lap dance from legendary septuagenarian strippers. Atlanta couples report 80% sexual satisfaction, according to a Trojan survey.

Think your city is pretty kinky, too? Take a look at the rest of the list.

5. Atlanta

Hotlanta, the Big Peach, the dirty South — these nicknames are not used merely to annoy the locals. If this Unicorn Booty infographic is to be trusted (and how could it not, despite spellingpromiscuity wrong?) one out of every two people in Atlanta has posted a Craigslist ad searching for gay sex. It also boasts the third highest gay male population (again based on Craigslist ads), coming just behind San Francisco and Seattle. According to a recent Trojan condoms sex survey (more on that to come), Atlanta is one of three cities where residents are most satisfied with their sex lives, reporting 80 percent satisfaction.

On the swinger front, Atlanta boasts one of the largest sex clubs, Trapeze, giving the Green Door in Vegas a run for its money, with an indoor pool, dance club, lounge area, hot tubs, and more. For entertainment of the backdoor variety, you'd be remiss not to swing by Swinging Richards, ATL's all-nude, all-male strip club, or the Buford Highway Twin Cinema, if you miss the (dare I say quaint?) option of viewing pornos in public theaters. Perhaps the diamond in the rough of kinky Atlanta is the Clermont Lounge, which resides underneath an abandoned/condemned hotel in a tiny basement bar, and where you'll find the oldest strippers in the U.S. Some are pushing 70, and they are legendary. If you've never been solicited for a lap dance by a grandmother with four teeth, then you haven't truly lived. Just don't touch their peach cobbler or there'll be hell to pay.

6. New York, New York

If New York City and Sex were in a relationship on Facebook, it would undoubtedly be classified as, “It's complicated.” NYC's rep as a no-holds-barred party town often clashes with its political and cultural mores. (Insert Anthony Weiner joke here.) It's hard to pin a number on just how many sex clubs NYC has; sources vary from a dozen to 106 on- and off-premise parties. It's safe to say that America's most populated city has plenty of places for you to do unto others as others would do unto you, while your husband continues to vote Republican. For an artsier serving of deviant sex, CineKink film festival is the ultimate in voyeurism. With everything from documentaries to camp to hardcore porn, CineKink is an experience that keeps on giving.

Elsewhere is the Museum of Sex, a small but intimate museum that encourages you to touch what's on display. It also offers many intriguing insights into the evolution of porn. Plus, you know you've always wanted to watch silent porn films from the 1910s. If you've been a bad boy or girl, head over to the monthly spanking party on the first Saturday of the month at Paddles, a popular BDSM club that also hosts slave auctions. If you don't have a paddle handy, fear not, for NYC offers a copious amount of sex toy stores, including favorites Babeland, the Pleasure Chest and Fantasy World. And don't forget the infamous Black and Blue Ball, a top fetish event sure to leave you black, but never blue. Unless you're into that.

7. Austin, Texas

Last year, Men's Health magazine took a poll of the sexiest U.S. cities. “Sexy” by its definition took into account birth rates, condom sales, rates of sexually transmitted infections, and sales of sex toys. Austin, Texas took the number one slot. And actually, seven of the top 15 cities out of the 100 urban areas polled were in Texas, including Dallas, Houston and San Antonio, thus proving that hot in the streets can and does translate to hot in the sheets. (I guess the song “All My Exes Live In Texas” wasn't all country-western hyperbole.) A few disappointments from the more well-known hook-up cities include Las Vegas (ranked 70), New York (73), San Francisco (74) and Miami (88).

8. Southern New Mexico, Southern West Virginia

Since not all Dionysian denizens are comfortable airing their durrty laundry on fetish websites or city streets, sometimes it's best to find fellow libidinous lads/ladies through other means. Last year, artist/designer R. Luke DuBois created a series of maps depicting the U.S. based on how people described themselves on online dating sites like Adult Friend Finder and Match.com. One of his maps was called the Kinky States of America. I know, I know, these aren't cities but regions. However, they still provide a fascinating array of previously unknown kink pockets. DuBois culled data from 19 million dating profiles, and determined these were the kinkiest. Winners include: Southern New Mexico, which is awash in kinky men, and Southern West Virginia for the most intemperate ladies. Honorable mentions go to pervballs in Alaska, Washington D.C. and northeastern Iowa.

9. Chicago, Illinois

Despite being the third largest city in the US, Chicago can sometimes be overlooked by other pervy coastal city brethren as a destination for sinsation. But oh how wrong they are. Chi-Town has the distinction of hosting the yearly International Mr. Leather competition (IML) every Memorial Day Weekend, and the Mr. International Rubber competition (MIR) held on the first weekend of November every year. Chicago also hosts Shibaricon, an international rope bondage conference. Not only that, but for three days in October, Kinky College, a “Pansexual BDSM Institute of Higher Yearning” allows you to get your masters (or master's) degree in all things kink.

If you're too cool for school, you can also check out the Leather Archives and Museum in Rogers Park. LA&M is a library, museum, and exhibit space devoted to leather, sadomasochism, and alternative sexualities. It also hosts erotic film screenings and houses a collection of old timey sex toys and lascivious devices. Just around the corner from LA&M are three leather-friendly bars, Touche, Jackhammer and the Granville Anvil. After you've taken all that's bestowed upon you and still want more, then peruse an extensive collection of erotic comic books and zines at Quimby's bookstore.

10. San Francisco

A list of kinky cities that didn't include San Francisco would be a sin in and of itself. Renowned for its queer denizens and its brazen flouting of convention, San Francisco knows how to get down and dirty, and often does so in broad daylight. One of the most telling kink symbols is the Folsom Street Fair, a yearly event dedicated to all things fetish. Folsom draws upward of 400,000 people each year, and covers 13 city blocks with exhibitions, live dominatrix demos and enough naked men to completely desensitize you for life. Folsom is the largest leather/fetish event in the world and the third largest single-day outdoor event in California.

Speaking of nudity, it is one of San Francisco's favorite pastimes and naked men (and some women) can be found everywhere from street fairs to protests. As District Attorney spokesperson Debbie Melosh said in 2004, “Being naked in San Francisco is not a crime.” San Francisco is also home to the Armory, a huge Moorish castle that takes up almost an entire city block in the Mission. Inside is Kink.com, which makes and distributes fetish porn, as well as hosts facility tours (don't miss the giant hamster wheel!), and monthly women-on-women porn wrestling matches that anyone (of age) can attend. Lastly, according to a recent Trojan condoms poll, S.F. now ranks as the most promiscuous city in the nation, with an average of 30 different sex partners apiece.

There you have it. Where do you live? Tell us if you think your city should be added and why.

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