My First Time - A Club Virgin's Story

I ended up heading out on a Thursday evening after chickening out multiple times before. The only thing that convinced me? My buddy who was willing, horny, and 20. Being 20 meant his age set us with a limited selection of clubs, though pleasantly we found that our local nude joint was 18+. We set off fairly early in the evening (around 7PM), an hour after the club was to open, and decided that in honor of getting our first look at paid-for puss we would have a drink.

Thank god for drive through liquor stores lest I'd have had to explain the awkward circumstances of two college-age men, buying a pint of rum, by themselves, on a chilly fall evening. We ended up taking our drink to a closed restaurant around a block from the club, chasing our rum with a few cokes I'd had stashed in my car for such a situation. (Though admittedly I thought I'd be using the cokes to mix with rum that I'd bought with a beautiful woman, not my super-straight friend.)

The first thing we noticed was the lack of cars, or life, around the club when we got there. The only motion we saw was a morbidly obese man waddling to his car, then quickly driving away once we'd stepped from my vehicle. The inside of the club opened into a foyer displaying contradictory signs about age, booze, and services offered. We settled on believing that it was indeed 18+, no booze was to be sold or brought in, and that whatever the girls did was their own damn business. The bouncer greeted us with a toothless smile, and warm granny happiness emitting. This helped to curb the abruptness with which she held out her hand and demanded payment, like a grandmother demanding a hug. Forking over the $7 cover, we took out seats in the abandoned club as close to the stage as possible, all the while taking in the ambiance of it all. The club itself, not unlike the foyer, displayed the same charm we had been introduced to: graffiti covering the walls, garish paintings of half- nude women, and a broken down setti