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Straight outta tha NC, comin' atcha with an AK ready to steal your daughter. ROAR!!!

Discussions by rickthelion (page 11)

discussion started

2 years ago

Any of you pervert apes ever party with pizza rat? Idea for next TUSCL meet up

Remember that plucky Gotham rat that was hauling away a whole slice of pizza or maybe it was a whole pie? Anyhoo, I was partying with this rat. You know, some lion and rat...

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2 years ago

In honor of the Queen’s platinum jubilee

Since I am King of the Jungle I respect all the various Kings, Queens, Princes, and whatnots. So I though I’d share a story about Queen Elizabeth II and her eldest son. The Queen and...

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Political Discourse

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2 years ago

An important, REAL, and roaring good political topic - a call to activism

Most of the political shit you damn dirty apes post is just plain stupid. Whine whine whine the world isn’t exactly the way I want it to be oh boo hoo woe is me....

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2 years ago

Florida Ape hangs from traffic light and shits on cars…WTF?

rick my brother, there are some questionable hairless apes in your neck of the woods… https://www.phun.org/newspics/funny_friday_14/24048.jpg Do you think this is a TUSCL poster? I guess this is kind of funny… I find it hilarious when...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Dixie-Ape and Skifredo go fishing. Funny story!

This rick knows the 411 on many TUSCL posters. I have it on good authority that Dixie-Ape (aka Cacaplop, the ape with anal leakage) befriended a retarded crab living behind a Starbucks. Said crab,...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Stop. Feeding. The. Trolls!

Hey you damn dirty apes, it is time you remember what TUSCL is for. Trading stories and information about strip clubs. Praising the ricks. Discussing the theory and practice of driving while intoxicated. Learning...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Sometimes you find the weirdest pornos… lil’ help?!!

I was rickin’ around in an alcoholic fog when I ran across what appears to be a porno appearance of that beagle from the comic strips. The one the rap guy is named after....

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discussion started

3 years ago

It should surprise none of you damn dirty apes that we ricks are experts at wordplay. This rick thought he would share the best anagram - a rickagram, if you will.: Marisa Tomei = Itsa...

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discussion started

3 years ago

You know what? I kind of admire Jeff Bezos

Hear me out. Yes, he’s a hairless ape. More hairless than average. You’d think that this rick would hold him in contempt. But he’s an ape that is reaching for the stars. By blasting himself...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Family issues suck

Some wacko ape shared a photo of my half-sister, rachaelthelioness, reacting to tales of yours truly fucking hairless ape whores. This is some fucked up shit https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/comments/t8jdhq/what_do_you_think_happened_to_this_lion/ Now I’m tryin’ to track the asshole who...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Whatever happened to Fozzy Bear?

This rick was pleasantly buzzed flipping through channels and I came across a find. An old program starring some weird looking bear. Bear didn’t even look real but I am a big supporter of...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Are stroking and greasing interchangeable?

As a rick I can pull off all sorts of badassery even when I am so out of my skull from my drinking that the laws of physics only seem like suggestions. However, those...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Important rick issue: keep the Green M&M slutty

If you perverted apes are bothered by the change in the green M&M’s footwear - and you should be - sign this petition: https://www.change.org/p/keep-the-green-m-m-sexy You hairless apes KNOW the green M&M is a horny slut. Let’s...

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discussion started

3 years ago

San Jose Ape asked if The System is merely paying hooker for sex

https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=76547#comment1191807 I shall educate you normies (i.e., non-ricks) regarding the ways of rick: Being rick is the only way of truly being. It is a holistic approach that blows the mind of normies with how unbelievably...

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3 years ago

Livin’ in the rick fugue: ROARing good TUSCL meet up edition

We ricks have generally avoided TUSCL meetups because we don’t want to associated with normies (i.e., non-ricks). However, I’ve also been wanting to improve my rick fugue. That state I enter when I’m pleasantly drunk....

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discussion started

3 years ago

Who would win a TUSCL purge?

I’m counting myself out because I’m a rick and a lion. Obviously, I’d win. But among the rest of you, who’d win and why? Remember, guns are not allowed. Any asshole can win with a...

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Political Discourse

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3 years ago

Rittenhouse part 4 GUILTY

Yes. Guilty of participation in a shitty purge! All you damn dirty apes want to talk about your damn ape laws and riots and stupid shit like that. But you’re ignoring the big point: that...

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discussion started

3 years ago

rick had a plan

http://www.alrincon.com/en/blog/srviral_1296.html Bravo rick my friend. Good plan to go incognito. Wearing your stylin’ suit would have give your game away. First you get the sexy female hairless ape in the water. Then you remove the bikini. I’m betting...

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discussion started

3 years ago

Did you know that McD’s has a sandwich called the McGangbang?

Sometimes we ricks like challenges. So when I was hangin’ with the shark, the dugan, and the vulture and we decided to get some entertainments I thought I’d troll the local McD’s to identify...

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IfIGottaBeDamned

discussion started

3 years ago

Should this rick give the Tampa zoo the 411?

One thing you damn dirty apes need to understand is that stingrays are fucking perverts. Why else would they let hairless apes capture them and put ‘em in “touch tanks”? It’s ‘cuz they wanna...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Founding the council of ricks - story confirmed

We ricks trace our heritage back a millennium to southwest Britain. A stylish lion had made his way to the British Isles where he met the most stylish of the Saxons. They immediately hit...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Photographic evidence of my last misadventure

Much of our amazing rick lives are spend on the simple pleasures: tappin’ ass and takin’ names, drivin’ drunk, and wearin’ stylish suits. But there are days you just want to do something topical to...

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discussion started

4 years ago

The REAL issues with gender and pronouns

Once you grumpy old apes get tired of whining about some B-list celebrity being catty with some F-list celebrity that uses alternative pronouns https://tuscl.net/discussion.php?id=75942 Imma educate you about REAL gender issues. What you damn dirty...

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4 years ago

OMFG... I just saw something that can scare a rick

Over my life I’ve seen things that would make a normal creature lose his mind, à la the Lovecraft Cthulhu stories. But I just saw something far worse... something that chills my very rick...

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4 years ago

I am done with seatbelts

Like the title says, I am done with seatbelts now. Damn gumming ain’t gonna tell this rick to wear a frickin’ seatbelt. I’m a rick, ain’t no storm nor virus nor immobile object that...

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discussion started

4 years ago

It is never too late to get your rick on

True ricks are both born and made, but many of you will be able to achieve a certain level of rickness in your lives. It is never too late. Just think: Dracula was 412 when...

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discussion started

4 years ago

I think I know this guy...

Yes, its xanderthelion. I used to hang with him in my old hood, before I met my brother ricks. Glad to see that ol’ xander is kickin’ hairless ape ass and feedin’ said apes...

discussion started

4 years ago

WTF A OK Walker Autoworks? This is dickish, not rickish

This is just inappropriate: https://www.fox5atlanta.com/news/fayetteville-man-receives-last-paycheck-in-oil-covered-pennies-dumped-on-his-driveway If you’re going to give a former employee their last paycheck in the form of pennies you should make sure they are clean pennies. If you want to give them an...

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discussion started

4 years ago

On a recent flight the stewardess yelled, in a panicked voice, “is there a doctor on the plane?” After convincing her that I was a doctor I performed an emergency tracheotomy with my claws...

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4 years ago

A lesson for Mr. Goat courtesy of rick the frickin’ chicken

I like San Jose Goat. He’s got moxie - for an assraped goat. But I recently saw a story that illustrates why he’ll never be a rick: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-56224144 Some damn dirty ape wanted a chicken to...

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4 years ago

rickvice for the lovelorn

One of the many responsibilities we ricks have is giving good advice to losers in need of love (or a reasonable approximation of love). So this rick would like to share a story that...

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rick_the_cheesestick

discussion started

4 years ago

rickthegroundhog?!!! To bad the dugan and the shark couldn’t join us...

It is a long-standing rick tradition to make ol’ philthegroundhog an honorary rick for a period of time. Not that wimpy lil’ hog in Punxsutawney. That Punxsutawney bitch is so subservient to damn...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Question: Why do you consider it normal to drink cow’s milk but...

...weird to drink the milk of a sexy female hairless ape? If you consider it normal to suck on the tits of a sexy female hairless ape but weird to suck on the cow’s teats?...

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4 years ago

ricktheviking is producing a ricktastic TV show in Denmark

Just wanted you hairless apes and other crazy critters to know about the ricktastic new program - the story of a man with an ENORMOUS DICK!!! In other words, a rick... https://www.vulture.com/2021/01/whats-john-dillermand-the-danish-show-about-a-giant-penis.html ...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Eta: Florida owes my bud dugan a debt of gratitude

Late season storm Eta could have been a problem for you Floridians, but read the news today and discovered that it was frickin’ nothing. My theory: my bud rick - in concert with other ricks...

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discussion started

4 years ago

Top 40 WTF? How could any sane creature ignore rickdugan?

I can understand those who ignore me. Those who would ignore this lion just can’t wrap their brains around how fantastic my life is. In other words, they cannot take my essential rickness! But my...

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4 years ago

Seriously fellas, I cried many a tear when I heard about this. Just remember he lived a full life. Many live and toil in quiet obscurity but Eddie was truly one of a kind. Yes, that...

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4 years ago

A little hairless ape boy is raking leaves in his yard while his elderly grandfather watches. He sees a worm exit a hole in the ground and says to his grandfather “I’ll bet you...

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4 years ago

At what point does shit become political? aka TUSCL, you’re better than this

When I created the lion character I said I’d always stay in character because the idea of a suit-wearing lion that fucks hairless ape whores and pals around with a dugan and a frickin’...

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4 years ago

As a rick I feel a duty to cheer my favorite hairless apes up!

Did you hear that Justin Bieber contracted Lyme disease? I almost feel sorry for that annoying little parasite. On the other hand, Bieber got exactly what he deserved! rick humor is funny because it is true....

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discussion started

5 years ago

Why is Skifredo bragging about having a crappy Corona Lite in his fridge?

Sometimes this rick thinks Skifredo actually thinks he can catch coronavirus from “Corna” beer and eating at fine Chinese restaurants (by which he means Panda Express). Sad. And his incessant whining combined with continuous attempts...

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5 years ago

Let’s help skifredo!

A fellow TUSCL poster - skifredo - has developed a hard on for the coronavirus. Let’s leave aside arguments about the relative danger of coronavirus vs flu and all of the other things the...

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5 years ago

2020: year of the ricks; the 2020s: decade of the ricks

After a long New Year’s celebration during which I imbibed just the right number of gimlets and rickaritas, I have returned to share the good news! 2020 should be the year of rick! Of...

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5 years ago

Favorite cocktail

Many of you know that my favorite cocktail is the gimlet. Be it the modern 2/3-1/3 recipe or the older 1/2-1/2 it is hard to beat the classic. However, we rick’s are nothing if...

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5 years ago

What is wrong with these hairless ape whores?

https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8fa00d5c3024f31ab122dd855a8ce8f12ba1e7910a1ee3de98122c5331484733.gif If they wanted to feel like this they should just get a lion, tiger, or jaguar to fuck them in the ass. ROAR!!!...

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5 years ago

Trolls are scum! A public service announcement from the ricks

My buddy rickdugan, the smartest hairless ape on the planet, has made his disdain for trolls many times. However, it is important to distinguish between insanos, idiots, and the genuine trolls. A true troll is...

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5 years ago

The Tao of rick: if you are a rick it is good to be an asshole but you shouldn’t

San Jose Ape misunderstands what it is to be a rick. He believes that we are sociopaths. Not so. The rick way is to wear badass suits, fuck sexy female hairless apes, pretend to...

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5 years ago

We need a rick room

With all of the new discussion rooms it seems to me that a room for the ricks is warranted. This could be a place where we rick could share our insights and then you...

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