Comments by rickthelion (page 3)

Muddy Ape…has anybody told you that you spend way too much time thinking about pointless minutia? Perhaps it is the simple fact that I’m a rick and a frickin’ lion that makes it possible to walk into the club and be treated like a king…but Imma give you some rickvice anyway. My rickvice is simply to loosen up Mr. Muddy. When you walk into the club you should have the Hakuna Matata running through your head. Then sit down, order a frickin’ Jack, and let whatever happens happen. Good shit always happens to me when I do that. Regardless, if bad shit happens you drink some more Jack, which is a magic elixir with the power to erase the memory of bad and make you think you had a great ol’ time. It’s like frickin’ magic. ROAR!!!

And remember…no matter how much of a dork you are you have at least a little lion inside you. Well…there is one being on God’s green Earth doesn’t have any lion in his soul. Unfortunately, that being happens to haunt this fine discussion board rambling about stupid shit and pretending to be a divorce lawyer that attended the worst law school in the country. That’s right…Skifredo got no lion in his soul. Not even a nanogram of lion. Indeed, there is not even one molecule of lion-y goodness in that weirdo. ROAR!!!

Most of you damn dirty apes would be much better off if you just focused on listening to recordings of the Lion King, which was loosely based on my life. That’ll teach you the hakuna matata my friends. And if you really want to embrace your inner lion - and any sensible hairless ape should embrace their inner lion - just break out this song… Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away In the jungle, the mighty jungle The lion sleeps tonight In the jungle the quiet jungle The lion sleeps tonight Wee heeheehee weeoh aweem away Wee heeheehee weeoh aweem away Near the village, the peaceful village The lion sleeps tonight Near the village, the quiet village The lion sleeps tonight Wee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away Rrr, la la la weeoh aweem away Hush, my darling, don't fear, my darling, The lion sleeps tonight Hush, my darling, don't fear, my darling, The lion sleeps tonight Wah oh oh, wah oh oh, wah oh wimoweh Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away Weeheeheehee dee heeheeheehee weeoh aweem away ROAR!!!

^^ Gamma Ape’s rant made this rick realize something: the absence of interaction at the ordering phase makes it less likely that a young food service worker will realize that a customer is kind of a douche. This raises a question: how will they know who’s food to spit on? This rick has a solution: the doucheID AI system. A new AI associated with the kiosk that identifies douches and tells the folks preparing the meal when they need to add some boogers and cum for extra flavor. You don’t want to know what the AI tells workers to do when Skifredo places an order. Let’s just say it works best with chocolate shakes. ROAR!!!

25ape said => if skiing is that good, you’re doing sex wrong 😑 This rick says => are any of you damn dirty apes surprised that skifredo is doing sex incorrectly?

Elmer ape, what makes you think the Stripperlovin’ ape is this Kevin character? I don’t even remember the Keven, though I do have gaps in my memory from all the Jack I drink so pay no mind to that. I think the Stripperlovin’ ape is a delightful weirdo. Yes…he is completely insane. But there are other insanos that post on here and never once has the Stripperlovin’ ape posted about politics in the front room. So this rick gives him two lion claws up. ROAR!!!

This rick sees pluses and minuses, only some of which apply to you damn dirty apes. Big minus is that my lion claws sometimes damage the touchscreen. The plus is that they do allow customization. Also, I had to ask one of the counter help at Taco Bell why there wasn’t an option for ground wildebeest tacos. So order kiosks can’t do everything. ROAR!!!

Rightfieldape said => Fuck almighty. I don't think anyone is going to read that entire list. You’re not supposed to read it. You’re supposed to say to yourself “how did the stripperlovin’ ape find the time to put that together?” The answer is either that the stripperlovin’ ape is a magnificent weirdo or that he used ChatGPT to write an all caps list of random country songs. I hope the first possibility is the correct one. ROAR!!!

Okay… okay… this rick is probably being too negative about Skifredo. But y’all have to admit he’s kind of psycho. Seriously though, I’ve made good natured fun of the dugan and I think he mostly gets it. There are a lot of folks posting on here, including dugan, that have a fairly sensible take. I’m not going to put down anybody for wanting less immigration or more immigration or whatever. I’m also not going to put down anybody who puts forward a non-psycho plan to control border crossings. I will say that the discussion is pointless. I doubt that anybody actually knows current immigration law so all the discussion is divorced from reality. And you should take it seriously when a Jack-drinkin’, suit-wearin’, Tesla-drivin’ lion tells you that you’re divorced from reality. That said, if your only goal is goofy fun then go forth. But, if this is just goofy fun, why are a some folks so frickin’ angry? I’d also like to remind you of past TUSCL glories. Remember the dugan story about texting a stripper boyfriend and telling said boyfriend that the stripper said the boyfriend’s dick is defective. Okay, I can’t remember if that was the exact story, but whatever the real story was doesn’t matter. It was funny as shit. And there was the famous “fuck you Jackie” incident. What the fuck was that? Was it really Juice’s girlfriend telling him off? Was it Juice playing his own girlfriend for laughs? Did Juice have two personalities, one for the Juiceman and one for Juice’s ex? I’ll tell you what that shit was: frickin’ hilarious! We need more of that crazy shit and less politics in the front room. Truth be told, most of y’all would have better mental health if you thought less about politics. Just vote for who you think will do best and be happy if your side wins and say “oh well, I hope they don’t do anything disastrous” if the other side wins. My bet if that some of you will be as unhappy if your side wins as if it loses. Hell, I bet Fredo would be happier with a Kamala presidency. It’ll make it easier for him to get an erection when he hate fucks his Kamala sex doll. ROAR!!!

^ Since we’re just discussing politics in the front room anyway, this rick has a much more sensible immigration proposal than Skifredo’s nonsense. I call it “fair trade immigration”. The policy is simple: We strip Skifredo of citizenship and identify a country that willing to take him. We pay that country $1 million. Also, anybody in that country can immigrate to the US in the following year. But the country has to keep the Skifredo off the internet. I think that would solve all of TUSCL’s problems. ROAR!!!

@ggofv - you’re bein’ a good hairless ape. Simply go to the political discourse forum and then click “start a discussion”. Glad I could help! Yet another example of quality rickvice. You damn dirty apes should be takin’ notes given how helpful we ricks are. ROAR!!!

This rick will add one more funny thing…I checked the top 40 most muted list and this rick is not on it. Now, the minimum value on that list is 2, so perhaps this rick has 2 ignores but he is not presented on the table because there are many posters with 2 ignores that are simply not on that list because it is cut off at 40. I will also point out that both Skifredo and Gamma are on the list. Perhaps that says something about the appetite for lion-y rickvice vs the appetite for Skifredo posting psycho shit. Just sayin’ Now where is my drivin’ whiskey? ROAR!!

Since gamma and skifredo claim to have me on ignore, perhaps some kind soul can copy and paste this for their edification. All I said was that founder makes one request of TUSCL posters: post political stuff in the politics room, post Tijuana stuff in the Tijuana room, and other stuff in the front room. There is no “don’t be a lion, vulture, barnacle, or dugan” rule for the front room. This rick is cool that you don’t want the any lion-y rickvice, but maybe you should consider one thing: too much politics makes people insane. Consider skifredo… I mean really, it is one thing to say that illegal immigrants should be deported post haste, but making it the simple violations of immigration laws a capital offense? That’s frickin’ psycho! Gamma, you seem like a nice enough guy when you’re talking about hobbies and things like diving or snorkeling (can’t remember which or if it was both). If you feel passionately about politics and need to share your thoughts with other demented perverts (no disrespect intended) there is even a place to do that. Just consider what it says to post the political shit in violation of the one polite request that Founder makes. I’ll tell you what it says: it says you’ve gone from feeling passionately to being weirdly obsessed. This lion is just saying this: dial it back to feeling passionately for your own mental health! Remember: weirdly obsessed is only one step away from being a complete psycho like skifredo! ROAR!!!

Ggofv began this post with => this is a political post. Then why is it here? Founder has made one and only one polite request of us, explained in the description of the Front Room: “This forum is for people to post whatever they want, as long as it's not political or regarding Tijuana. We have dedicated forums for those topics” (right there on the page that comes up when you click “Forums”) Frankly, I think spending too much time discussing politics drives even semi-normal people insane. The reality is that most of us live in places where our votes don’t matter. Most states are biased enough one way or the other that you know ahead of time whether your “side” is going to win. Most congressional districts are safe. If you devote too much of your brain to something you have very limited potential to impact you go frickin’ nuts! I’m not saying you shouldn’t vote. In fact, I think it psychologically unhealthy to be so unconcerned with the future of your country that you don’t take a little time out of your life to register your opinion. I’m also not saying you shouldn’t post your political opinions on TUSCL, just that you should accede to Founder’s polite request and do so in the “Political Discourse” room, not the front room. And I guess I’m also suggesting that maybe you should take a step back, be a little realistic, and realize that you probably don’t know what you’re talking about. Err… I mean “post this shit in the politics room or Imma go all frickin’ wildebeest on your ass!” ROAR!!!

You can never go wrong with a stylin’ suit. ROAR!!!

All star ape said => You can pm me the video I don't mind seeing your face and dick if i get to see a Czech get railed. Way to go i would keep fucking her and have fun on your fishing trip That fucked up. I wouldn’t want to see this weirdo’s schlong. We don’t even know if any of these females exist. Desert ape, you should post a photo of this Czech penetrating herself with a bottle of Zima. I bet there is no online Zima porn that you can use to fake the photo. You can still special order Zima from Japan, so get cracking on this. ROAR!!!

C’mon you damn dirty apes. You are far too quick to declare those who are offbeat to be trolls. Desert blizzard, this rick suggests that you take new pictures. Have your wife bend over and spread her ass cheeks so we get a good view. Before taking the photo use a sharpie to write “4 TUSCL” on one cheek and “SUGGESTED BY RICK” on the other. Then insert the sharpie in her vagina and take the photo. If you do this we’ll believe you are for real. ROAR!!!

Muddy Ape, you really must sweeten the deal a bit. Text the following: Wait…I just 2 quarters, a dime, and a penny in the couch. So how about a final offer of $220.61. Actually, I just noticed the penny is Canadian. How about some anal action for $220.60 plus a Canadian penny? She’ll think you’re a frickin’ international hairless ape of mystery because of the Canadian penny. ROAR!!!

One more thing RMD Ape. Take comfort in the fact that if Skifredo ever approached the guy carrying the nuclear football the secret service would tase him in the nuts. And that would be incredibly funny. If you really are using slurs in some sort of bizarre response to what you perceive to be bigotry, just sit back and imagine a crazy divorce lawyer gettin’ tased right in the nuts. Then take a sip out of your Old Fashioned and smile. ROAR!!!

RMB, I shouldn’t get sucked into a pointless debate, but I will point out that neither Skifredo nor puddy tat has any actual political power. Hell, I think they only let Fredo fill out divorce paperwork in crayon. Nobody is letting him near the nuclear football. It is really easy to look at certain places in the world - especially the Muslim world - and feel angry. I think all of us would push a magic button that would calm everybody the fuck down, end wars, and cause all countries to respect human rights if such a button existed. I think very few people period would actually push the button to nuke those countries. I certainly don’t think puddy tat or Fredo would. It doesn’t mean you don’t see news about shitty things happening in shitty places and want to vent. Personally, I don’t want to vent about that shit on a website for demented perverts who should be discussing the ideal trousers for an LDK. Maybe that’s why that crazy LDK guy isn’t posting any more. He wanted more crazy “tranny gave me a handjob in my car” stories and fewer political posts. Well…this lion concurs. If you did some crazy shit in the club or out of the club tell us! Likewise, if you really want to vent there’s the politics board. Just don’t take it so frickin’ seriously. And maybe avoid slurs. I mean really…what’s the frickin’ point of using slurs? There is even less point in using slurs than there is in posting political shit on a board for demented perverts! Err…I mean ROAR!!!

Okay, so I broke character so I should also explain my issue with Skifredo. Some idiot - can’t remember who - was all butthurt going wah wah wah the liberal lion is making fun of conservatives. Not true. I make fun of idiots who constantly bring politics into the front room. If politics really are that important to you that you absolutely have to post political shit in the front room maybe you should think about things you could do that would have a bigger impact than posting shit on an internet site for degenerates. But nothing illegal. The courts will not accept “a lion sent me an internet message telling me to do this” as a defense for any illegal activities. My is simply that he posts a lot and is constantly bringing politics into the front room. I actually respect Kent Ape a bit more, because he seems to post political shit to get a rise out of people and then jack off to the enraged replies. It may be kind of sad, but I think that enraging conservatives is probably the only way the guy can get an erection and that makes me feel sorry for him. Anyhoo…back to Skifredo. 80% of the time the guy seems reasonable and posts things about music and movies and sports and the fact that he’s so proud that his mommy let him cross the street by himself when he was 14. Okay, the fact that his mommy let him cross the street at the age of 14 is kind of sad, but the music and sports and movie posts are often kind of fun. Then, just when you think Fredo is a normal boy something gets him all butthurt and he starts babbling about frickin’ politics like a frickin’ moron . To summarize, my advice to Fredo (which he claims not to read but clearly does) is to relax, have a laugh, and be a normal frickin’ human being. I’d advise him to create a felid personality but there is no way that he is cool enough to pull that off. My advice to Kent is simple: find a way to get an erection that doesn’t involve posting political shit on TUSCL. That is all. ROAR!!!

I always hate to break character because it cuts into the fun, but I’m not cool with this untermensch bullshit. Look…none of the posters on this site are going to bring peace to the Middle East. Whenever innocent people are killed, like Oct 7, it is incredibly sad. And yes, it is also sad that civilians are dying in Gaza, although there are obvious challenges trying to defeat an enemy with a tunnel system under populated area. I was going to write more, but what’s the frickin’ point? This is a bit of a microcosm of why all the frickin’ politics on this site are so toxic and stupid. My primary goal has been to make folks laugh. Well…I’m more concerned with having a laugh myself and I don’t care if others laugh. But I don’t have any interest in actually insulting anybody. That may sound surprising since I’m sort of trolling dugan, but here’s the thing: dugan seems to get it. Sometimes he seems a bit irritated but mostly he seems to have a laugh. Dugan is clearly playing a character and the lion character is just the dugan character turned up to 11 for laughs. TUSCL would be a lot more fun if more people were like that. Err…I mean ROAR!!!

Least embarrassing name: rick This rick knows the question is about last names, but I just have to point out that that the name rick is so amazingly amazing that you probably can’t wrap you normie heads around how amazing it is. How hard is it to understand how great the ricks are? Well…it is an established fact that the reason Einstein failed to devise a grand unified theory is that he met a rick and then spent the rest of his life trying to understand how you could pack that much coolness into a single being. He though the sheer density of coolness would collapse under its own gravity an form a frickin’ black hole. ROAR!!!

This rick would like to make a ricklic service announcement(TM). An RSA is like a PSA, but RSAs rooted in rickly wisdom. RSA BEGINS: Kent Ape does not care about what he writes. He needs to enrage other TUSCL posters to enjoy his masturbatory session. Yes, Kent Ape posts shit like this then he waits for responses. If you address anything he posts he starts jackin’ it, Only respond if you want to give the him jackin’ material. Or if you want the inside of Kent Ape’s basement bedroom to resemble a Pollock when you turn on a black light. RSA ENDS. ROAR!!!

ROAR!!!