Comments by rickthelion (page 2)

dugan, my brother, there are some creatures that cannot be convinced of their wrongness in life. Fake rick the OP is one of those creatures. I think fake rick needs to learn for himself. I suggest he book a trip to Zurich. He should take continuous video of his experience. Perhaps some sort of glasses with a camera. Then we can take bets on the outcome of fake rick’s Swiss trip. Will it be successful sexy fun time or something else? This lion is betting on the following outcome: fake rick gets a taser in the nuts within 3 hours of landing. Any other bets? ROAR!!!

This lion also says “post more nekkid photos on the internet!” But that is only because this lion is a frickin’ demented pervert. ROAR!!! 🦁

Girlgonebad, I’m not sure what you posted that you’re apologizing for, but this rick’s advice is: don’t apologize. If somebody got their knickers in a twist because of something you posted that’s on them, not on you. Imma be a serious lion for a moment. Like LurkerX I try to stay away from the “political discourse” forum. It’s pointless. The problem on TUSCL that is making it less fun is folks like Skifredo and Gamma. They make *everything* about frickin’ politics. So politics is always oozing into the front room. The sad thing is that when both of those guys can calm the fuck down the post about something normal they seem like they might be semi-reasonable people. If it is one of them you pissed off, this lion says “fuck ‘em!” ROAR!!!

Take a chill pill Libby ape or whatever the fuck your name is. I am perfectly fine with the sexy females saying my delicious wildeburger is a hamburguresa de wildebeest or whatever. Be rickish, not dickish my friend. ROAR!!!

What the actual fuck is wrong with Skifredo? I mean really…three frickin’ deer. This rick can miss a deer even when drivin’ along in a drunken fog while holding a bottle of Jack in one hand and a bottle of Jose in the other and drinkin’ from each. What is the malfunction of a supposed hairless ape that hits three deer? I think he’s actually makin’ this shit up. ROAR!!!

A secret lesbian cabal runs the frickin’ world?! That’s some insane hairless ape logic. Everybody knows the ricks run the world. Well…the parts of the world that matter. I mean…periodically I think I should force Apple to make their iPads more resistant to lion claw damage because, as a rick, I could totally do that. But then I get in my Tesla to drive to Cupertino to deliver the message and I think “actually, there are better strip clubs elsewhere” and before you know it I’m somewhere else. Hell…once I woke up in frickin’ Tahiti and I have no idea how I got there. I don’t think my Tesla autopilot got me there! Anyhoo…I digress. My big point is that we ricks have the important things under control. What happens to Diddy is unimportant, so we ricks don’t care enough to exert control. So you shouldn’t worry either. ROAR!!!

🦁🦁🦁

You tell rick my friend! I mean really, the whole being mistaken for a hairless ape dressed up as a sexy lion thing is tiresome, but the hot sex with a sexy witch or teacher or meter maid or whatever is usually worth it. Especially if it is a sexy witch and a sexy teacher and a sexy meter maid all gettin’ some lion lovin’ courtesy of this rick. Does it seem like the average TUSCL poster has gotten to be more of a frickin’ snowflake lately? Wah wah wah I don’t like Halloween. Wah wah wah somebody on the internet posted something I don’t like. Wah wah wah I’m smarter than everybody else even though I sound like I flunked the eight grade and was told not to come back to school. TUSCL posters would have more fun if the drank more Jack and spent less time going all wah wah wah. ROAR!!!

RonJax sez => Sexy witch costumes. Sexy cops. Sexy teachers, students, nurses. What's not to like? The problem is that people are always walking up to me going “ooo you’re dressed up as a sexy lion” and I then have to answer “no…I AM a sexy lion. I’m rick the frickin’ lion. And I’m frickin’ sexxxy. With extra D’s because I’m so frickin’ sexxxy. ROAR!!!” That gets tiresome. Although I often end the night by fucking a sexy witch or teacher or whatever. So I guess it’s okay. ROAR!!!

Have you tried greasing the bouncer? Or stroking the manager? Try that and see how it works for you.

Also, did you notice that the football guy was drinking one of this rick’s favorite cocktails? Jack+Captain Morgan. Well…this particular lion prefers a nice Dominican rum. Or maybe Jack+cachaça. That’s rickthejaguar’s favorite. Anyhoo…where was I? Oh yeah…I need some Jack, wildebeest tacos, and sex. Imma go get me some of that. ROAR!!!

And in other news, I have a strong longing for Jack, wildebeest tacos, and naked female hairless apes. BTW, have you ever ate a wildebeest taco while fucking and drinking Jack? Only thing that would make the experience better is driving your Tesla at the same time. ROAR!!!

Far be it from this rick to point out the obvious when y’all are engaging in an erudite discussion of tax policy, but my lion-y common sense compels me to point out that the OP should worry about the whole ejaculating blood thing before he worries about his tax burden. Remember the demented shit the OP posted about hiring alligator escorts? This lion remembers because it was something he posted yesterday: https://tuscl.net/discussion/86106

What the fuck is wrong with you damn dirty apes? “when you find yourself in a hole, the best way to get out is to stop digging.” Wrong! The best way to get out of a frickin’ hole is to jump out of the hole! My pappy thought me that back when I used to enjoy playin’ in holes. The problem with you hairless apes is that you spend your childhood playing the video games on the Xbox or Wii or whatever. Childhood should be about playing outside. That’s where you learn about frickin’ holes! ROAR!!!

This rick is pretty damn tolerant but disrespecting Princess Tay Tay is something that’ll make this lion go all wildebeest on somebody’s ass. I admit that some Swifties (not this lion, of course) are a touch overzealous. But if being overzealous in our love of Princess Tay Tay’s talent is a crime, then count this lion among the guilty. ROAR!!!

You know what you get when you say that girls “don’t have to be lookers”? You get uggos. They will be female hairless apes that look like male fanged frogs. Don’t fuck a fanged frog! Just a lil’ rock ice. ROAR!!!

Chalk the superfluous apostrophe up to the Maker’s Mark in my rickish bloodstream. My rickstream if you will. ROAR!!!

Regale us with stories fellow felid. This site need more stories told by demented perverts and fewer posts from Fredo’s ! ROAR!!!

Okay, maybe it’s 20% Maker’s Mark, but my point is still a good one. Now…what the fuck was my point? It was super brilliant and all lion-y and shit. And it is 100% the case that I ain’t a frickin’ Fredo. ROAR!!!

ricks don’t get fools. Unless we’ve got to o much Jack in our bloodstream. But that isn’t me Robby now because I’ve got like 10% makers make and only 5% Jack in my bloodstream. And maybe some Johnnie too but I digress. Anyhoo, this rick’s point is that I’m on top of shit unless I’m in an alcoholic fog which is only like 50% of my life at most, so don’t go tellin’ me how I should feel about shit. I’m not frickin’ skifredo after all. ROAR!!!

This rick normally doesn’t comment on political threads on the “political discourse” board because…what’s the frickin’ point of doing that? However, this gamma ape post has set off my lion-y bullshit detector. Now, I don’t really know what gamma ape actually does so maybe this shit makes sense in some context…who the fuck knows? Anyhoo…I want to point out the meat of gamma ape’s complaint ‘bout everybody that, y’know, isn’t gamma ape: Gamma ape sez => I get tired of the incompetence and lack and urgency and source documents and generate reports myself, only to have the clerical and admin staff I asked to do it proudly send me the reports hours after I have finished reading them. Let’s ignore the somewhat nonsensical language and just read that as “I get tired that reports have not been generated when I want them so I generate them myself. Then I get the report a few hours later.” So…you didn’t tell the employees tasked with generating said reports that they were complete so they could move on to other tasks? Seems rather inefficient to this lion! I could go on and point out other hinky statements, but this whole rant seems a bit implausible. Kinda like gamma ape just wanted an excuse to bitch about zoomers while he was sitting at his desk trying to figure out how to open a pdf. And, for the record, this rick know how to open a pdf. I say “hey you frickin’ wildebeest, open this pdf for me or you’re gonna regret not following my rick instructions…my rickstructions, if you will…yeah, you better laugh at my rick joke or Imma go all wildebeest on your ass. ROAR!!!”

Lemme help you out here Libby Ape or whatever the fuck your name is. You just say the following: my buddy is a frickin’ lion and he sent me down to the liquor store to buy like a case of Jack. He hosting something that he calls a “rickbang” that involves a sexy female hairless ape and his friends a shark and a dugan. He says I can watch. Wanna join us? If that shit scares ‘em off you’re rid of some real sticks in the mud. If they dig the idea of watching a rickbang you’ll probably have fun with them. Problem solved. ROAR!!

The Moody Ape asks => So your Rickvice is to be ignored? The rick forgets that some of you damn dirty apes are not sophisticated enough to take rickvice seriously but not literally. You should not emulate the stripper loving ape’s capitalize every word tick. Only an insano would write like that. But is the crazy shit that stripper lover writes any worse that the shit Skifredo writes? That’s a rhetorical question. The answer is that Fredo is way worse. There are few requests that Founder has made regarding our posting. Does he request that we not be weirdo dorks that capitalize every word? No. While this rick certainly concedes the point that only an insano writes that way the point is that he is an insano behaving in a manner consistent with Founder’s request. But Founder does ask us to keep politics out of the front room, something Fredo does all of the time. Talk about inappropriate behavior! Anyhoo… I just wanna point out that ricks are never cum dumpster. We ricks cum on others; we never get cum on ourselves. Well, maybe if we’re so drunk on the Jack that something goes wrong and there is frickin’ cum all over the place. But I digress. The larger point is that if this rick can bring a little joy into some dorkus’ life by triggering an orgasm that is fine as long as any jizzing is done far away. Hell, I don’t even care that Fredo is jackin’ it to his demented posts. It’s all good as long as the weirdos rub their tiny lil pee-pee’s far from this rick! The bigger point is to embrace your inner goldfish. Remember the Ted Lasso. Goldfish are the happiest creatures in the world because they have an 8-second memory. You’ve never seen a goldfish going all “wah wah wah somebody on the internet has offended me wah wah wah” have you? Nope, goldfish never say that shit. Also, they have a hard time using an iPad so few goldfish are on the interwebs. Plus the 8-second memory means they can’t remember any passwords. But I digress…the point is be a frickin’ goldfish if you can’t be a lion! ROAR!!!

Hakuna matata my friend. Hakuna matata. ROAR!!!

Muddy ape, see my rickvice here: https://tuscl.net/discussion/85871